An explicit but effective hygiene reminder spotted in an Auckland CBD bathroom.
Glad he got that off his chest
Our supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a friend was disappointed to find only a few skimpy portions, so complained. "Don't worry, lady," the butcher said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, she heard the butcher's voice boom: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store." (Source: Misscellania.com)
Airport security a tact-free zone
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David and his family were flying to Florida from Detroit when security spotted his son Drew, 29, carrying a plastic toy hammer. Drew is severely handicapped and has carried the hammer for "security" for 20 years. Agents told them he couldn't board the plan with a "weapon", forcing them to toss it away. (Source: Reason.com)
Auckland traffic 1, rich hoons 0
A reader writes: "As I drove back from Hamilton yesterday, a Toyota Prado and a Lexus sailed past me on the Waikato Expressway, easily doing in excess of 125-135km/h. And both had kids in the car. I'd like to point out to these drivers that, thanks to Auckland traffic, 50km after you passed me I was in front of you both. Which just goes to show that driving like a maniac gets you nowhere."
Picking on the defenceless
"What is it with awards ceremonies being hijacked by the fashion police?" writes a reader. "Colin Mathura-Jeffree dishing out best and worst fashion nods at Saturday's Aotearoa Film and Television Awards was just cringey - greasing up Robyn Malcolm and Antonia Prebble for best dressed ... And for worst dressed? Colin didn't have the balls to suggest any celebrities had naff fashion sense; instead, he made half-arsed bitchy comments about non-famous members of the TV industry."