Sideswipe: New Year's Eve is over-rated

Ever get the feeling your business could be more permanent/successful? Photo / retailhellunderground.com

Tina writes: "Fifteen years ago I travelled to the Gisborne to be one of the first to see the dawn of the new millennium - 1999 had not been kind to me with a recent job loss and a significant break-up. It was a pilgrimage of self-discovery, getting to know myself again and contemplate life the universe and everything.

"On the night I ended up walking along Wainui Beach, sipping out of a cheap bottle of Lindauer, having a bit of a pity party. But as the sun rose, I stopped to take it all in and had a quiet wee weep. Then, from behind me, someone yelled: "Move your fat arse." I turned to see a row of keen amateur photographers lined up with their cameras on tri-pods. Good riddance to 1999, I thought ."

Real Life Anecdotes Via Tumblr

1. When I was 6 my brother told me that old people sag because they are being pulled to hell. I cried.

2. At the dinner table my sister asked us what colour we thought her boyfriend's shirt was. After we all said grey, she turned to him and said, "now tell them what colour you think it is." He quietly replied, "dark white."

3. Today my army friend was telling us about basic training. There was this kid in her battalion who asked so many stupid questions that the drill sergeant made him carry around a pot plant to replace all the oxygen he wasted.

(Via Pleated Jeans)

Advice For Teens From a Man Who Once Was One.

Don't be such a dick to your parents...You live in a world where 99.9999999% of humans care more about how their hair looks than whether you live or die, and then there's this person, or two if you're lucky, who'd give their lives for you. And how do you feel about all this? You feel the exact levels of entitlement and gratitude of this horse:

(Source: The Teen Years: 9 Cringe-Inducing Realizations By Tim Urban in Wait ButWhy.com) Read the full story here...

Clever use of space

"My older brother took part in the Queen Street motorbike parking stunt," says Phil Wright of Maraetai. "My recollection is, that as a Auckland University Engineering student, the standard modes of transport were Yamaha, Suzuki or Honda. To attend a lecture the bikes were parked 5 or 6 to a space in Symonds Street. No park and display, just parking meters in those days.

"As one motor cycle left, the replacement would put a coin in the parking meter. That way they got to park dam near all day to attend their classes. The A.C.C. discovered a by-law that only allowed one vehicle per parking place and offending motorcycles began being ticketed, hence the silent, nonviolent Queen Street protest."

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz