Sideswipe: March 27: Colour upgrade

Slow news day.

Oscar-worthy moment makes classroom magic
A magic moment in teaching. Peter writes: "The class had been warned about playing on their cellphones during lessons. I said that I would stomp on the next cellphone misused and throw it out the window. Young Will was even warned once more. I spotted him on it yet again towards the end of the lesson. With a furious bellow I snatched the phone, stomped on it and threw it out the window. I ordered Will from the room. The rest of the students sat in stunned disbelief. I thought Will acted his part really well. I thought my performance was worth an Oscar. The only casualty was an old disused Nokia I had lent to Will as our prop."

Worst jobs ever

1.

"I worked for a security company that contracted out a company during the summer selling security systems door-to-door. They tricked old people into signing five-year contracts that they could only get out of in the first 72 hours."

2.

"I once worked the night shift at a factory making sweet potato bins. Part of this job required making curved cuts using a band saw. It required continuous focus in order to avoid cutting off my hand. The mental strain combined with the repetitive motions and the eight-hour shift throughout the night was exhausting. That job helped solidify my decision to go back to school and get a white collar job ..."

3.

"I stood on an assembly line where bottles of lemonade came by on a conveyor belt. My job was to pick up each bottle, turn it upside down, squeeze it to check for leaks and then put it back. Every time there was a leak it always was pointing right at my face. By the end of the day I was covered in sticky lemonade and had sore forearms. I lasted one day."

4.

"I worked with a pet store as an animal handler for children's birthday parties. Imagine being surrounded by dozens of squealing 5-year-olds while trying to hang on to a terrified ferret."

5.

"I am currently a cellphone tower climber. It has its ups and downs (pun intended). But I am home at 3.30 on a Tuesday because of a bacterial infection from all the bird poop that covers them."

6.

"Security guard at a private jet facility. Dealing with those pompous, entitled types, as a supervisor, was maddening. I had one executive complain to me that they didn't like the hair colour of one guard, that it distracted the people there. His hair was red. Not dyed red, just a redhead."

7.

"I used to sell doors ... door to door."

8.

"So far, none of the jobs I've had was worse than having no job. Social stigma + poverty = complete lack of self-worth."

Products For First World Problems: In the age of social media businesses can't respond to criticism
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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz