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Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: March 18: Fifty shades of dumpling

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
17 Mar, 2015 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Restaurant that goes further to satisfy its customers?

Teenager operates a personal rubbish dump
"Today [my second son], 13, was away for the day and I was waiting on hospital visiting time for my sick mother. I decided to do his room as a treat. Apart from the dirty laundry, I
found: two empty juice bottles, an empty smoothie carton, an empty milkshake carton, six empty crisp packets, three apple cores, orange peel, sweet wrappers, popcorn, two plastic bowls, two plastic cups ... and a Pringle tube full of urine. We are going to have to have a talk when he gets home." (Source: Mumsnet.com)

Rebranding a bit fishy
The global popularity of sushi has seen tuna populations take a dive, so what's the fishing industry to do when finding fish becomes more difficult? Rebrand species that haven't been depleted. According to Sociological Images, formerly unpopular fish are rebranded in an effort to make them seem more palatable. So, for instance, the "slimehead" becomes the "orange roughy". And the "Patagonian toothfish" is now the "Chilean sea bass". The fishing industry has to convince consumers to eat fish that were "previously unappealing because it has largely destroyed the basis of its own existence", writes Gwen Sharp.

Some statistical truth to Lotto gag
That always positive pregnancy test reminds a reader of a gag played on a university friend at his 21st. He writes: "He had a party on the Saturday night, so his friends bought him a Lotto ticket so they could watch the live draw with him. Imagine his building surprise and anticipation as he got the first number, then the second, then the third -- then all six! INSTANT MILLIONAIRE! Of course the gag was to have recorded last week's draw, and buy a ticket for this week with the same numbers, and sneakily play the recording of last week's draw. And in case you think it's cruel, remember it's just as likely last week's numbers will be drawn the following week as it is for any other six numbers (and yes, before you ask, we were doing stats together at uni)."

In case of a fight, be the guy at the back. Always be that guy. (@RiffRaff41)
In case of a fight, be the guy at the back. Always be that guy. (@RiffRaff41)
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Jokes you can read to your kids
1. Why are French snails faster? Less cargo. (@MooseAllain)

2. I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive and confident than her sister Hog Face. (@DannyZuker)

3. If self-deprecation was a competitive sport, I probably wouldn't even get a medal. (@Jeffwni)

4. What do you call a cow with no legs? A ranch slider. (Lacey Graham)

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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Sideswipe: Trooper and dog

15 Mar 04:00 PM
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