Sideswipe: March 13: Are you aware of your items

Photo / Supplied

Two shoppers spotted this sign in a store in Melbourne.

Holy puzzle

Laurie Wesley came across what appeared to be a new church near the Hobsonville end of Greenhithe Bridge. "But the sign board said something about a Hobsonville pumping station. I presume this means an installation for pumping sewage. So is the chapel a place for blessing the sewage or is it a place to pray that the pumps will not break down and cause an unholy spill?"

Face-to-face communication

Before sexting: According to ListsOfNote.com this advice about "Eye Flirtation" was first published in 1891 in the Taranaki Herald.

Winking the right eye - I love you.
Winking the left eye - I hate you.
Winking both eyes - Yes.
Winking right eye twice - I am engaged.
Winking left eye twice - I am married.
Dropping the eyelids - May I kiss you?
Raising the eyebrows - Kiss me.
Placing right forefinger to right eye - Do you love me?
Placing right little finger to right eye - Aren't you ashamed?

Teachers' toes kept cosy

"Wanaka Primary School is a brand new decile 10 school," declares a reader. "None of the pupils is permitted to wear shoes indoors. Many parents are unhappy with this as it seems ridiculous that, in the depths of a sub-zero Central Otago winter, shoes must be taken off before stepping onto the standard Ministry of Education issue, industrial grade, nylon based carpet ... The rule was primarily a response to 'cultural considerations', but I wonder why teachers were permitted to wear shoes."

Bear knows best

Yesterday a reader was unimpressed with Bear Grylls' geographic knowledge in Man vs Wild when he stood on the West Coast and said "next stop out there is Argentina". But Bear was right. He said he was following the 45th parallel (south) - he was in the Central Otago area and if you plot that line on a world map it passes only through NZ, Argentina and Chile. If you travel directly west from Fiordland the first land will be the southern part of Argentina. As one reader put it: "I'm sure Bear is sitting with a cup of his own pee and shaking his head at the silly Kiwi who can't reference a map."