Dry humour, spotted in Kawhia by Tim.
Right neighbourly act
Kylie Adams of Parnell writes: "Taking my elderly neighbour Pete to the airport for a domestic flight started well with him on the footpath clutching his bag. Pete has only one leg and with getting sorted, his little bag was left kerbside as we roared out to the airport. Much talking saw me driving to Manukau instead of the airport, so when we finally got to the airport (via the 'scenic route'), Pete suddenly said, "Where's the bag?" We realised it was still on the footpath in Parnell. Panic! I went to the Air NZ service desk to ask for a wheelchair for my neighbour and explained I was about to race back to get the bag when the airline rep interrupted ..."His bag is here." Another neighbour saw the bag and worked out what had happened and had beaten us to the airport."
Easy clean-up, though
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A newly wed Kimberley Hewat invited some friends to her mother-in-law's bach. "The men spent the day sailing knowing dinner would be on the table upon their return. A pork roast was put into the oven, lathered with oil to make the crackling good and crunchy. The men arrived home, showered, table set nicely to impress, gravy made. Around 9.30pm dinner is finally served. But we all spat out the first mouthful! Turns out I'd cooked the entire roast in Sunlight dish-washing liquid - no wonder the gravy frothed up all over the stove!"
A reader writes: "The 'Bomber' Harris story reminded me of my first teaching practice where the head of science helped me set up an exciting climax to my lesson, involving weedkiller and sugar. Just as the bell went, I set it off and smoke billowed out of the open windows. Kids from other classes climbed to peer through the windows, their cheers and jeers soon turned to howls as the indignant head of science went down the row of backsides with a cane."
"I also had a great physics teacher," writes another reader. "One day he wanted to demonstrate the Doppler effect so he marched us out to the nearest road, got in his car, and drove at speed with his hand on the horn the length of the road. Needless to say the principal was not impressed and neither was the primary school on the other side of the road. It made the lesson pretty memorable, though. To this day, I could still tell you all about the Doppler effect." (According to Wikipedia, the Doppler effect is the change in frequency of a wave for an observer moving relative to the source of the wave, such as when a vehicle sounding a siren approaches, passes and recedes from an observer.)