Sideswipe: Just plump for barbed wire, you dreamer

Ex-pat Kiwi Michael lives in Bath, UK, and spotted this somewhat hopeful trespass-deterrent at the Fox pub in Broughton.

Honey, get ready to be avraged

A reader writes: "Call me sceptical but ... Pfizer have released a cheaper version of Viagra called Avigra. It's the same size, shape and colour as Viagra, but costs less. Yeah right! I reckon someone has made a typo on the printing machine resulting in a bunch of Viagra with the wrong name printed on them. Why else would they pick a name that sounded so similar? And why would they release a product that looked the same, did the same thing, but was cheaper? Why not just drop the cost of Viagra? Same with the new Collisions range by Griffin's (eg half Toffee Pop, half Mallow Puff). Yeah, right. Someone at the factory stuffed up and the result was a bunch of mutant hybrid biscuits that they now need to offload."

More bounce for your ounce

A police officer noticed a plot of pot plants while driving past a house in the village of Golzow, Germany. The 84-year-old woman living in the house claimed she was giving them to her rabbits as food and that they liked it. She told police she had not grown the plants herself, but that they had simply started growing there and had proven to be excellent rabbit food. Police said her explanation had sounded plausible, but they could not leave her with the plants (Source: BoingBoing.net).

Second wind #1

"Whereas I completely sympathise with the passenger who inadvertently sat next to Johnny Fartpants, she can take solace in the fact that the air on planes is not recirculated; it comes in at the front and leaves out the back ... so spare a thought for the people in the rows behind you ..."

Second wind #2

Jon Taylor writes: "I wonder if the writer might share with your readers, nay, the world, how one, on a flight, elevator or, in fact, anywhere, might be able to not pass intestinal gasses when they beckon. On behalf of all the people who have found themselves in situations where not farting would be far preferable to annoying 10 people in an elevator, please, share your wisdom with a desperate world. You are quick to criticise, I assume you must have a solution. There could be a Nobel prize in it for you."

Second wind #3

To the lady in the plane: "The time to complain to the farter was when he was doing it," says a reader.