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Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: June 23: Separate what?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
22 Jun, 2014 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Explicit product description for Korean-made sports underwear.

Three trampers and six condoms
A reader writes: "I was tramping with two friends of mine, who are a couple. Imagine the three of us sitting around the fire in a backcountry hut in the middle of the Ureweras on a dark and stormy
night. The woman opened up her first aid kit because we all needed plasters for our blisters and there on top were six condoms. Cue much laughing, and her explanation that apparently they're useful for keeping water out of arm wounds."

Opera parking hits high note
A warning from a frustrated reader to people looking for parking near the Aotea Centre: "Attended opening night of La Traviata and decided to park at Wilson car park in Greys Ave, near the Aotea Centre - in the disused, shabby basement. Normally this car park has an after-6pm flat fee of $12 but on this occasion the parking meters had been temporarily boarded up and a parking attendant was on duty, who asked for $20 to park. When asked why it was so expensive this night, he replied, rather bashfully, that it was because it was the opening night of the opera. As we were running late we paid the fee but noticed many cars turned around on principle and parked elsewhere. Are they allowed to get away with this sort of thing?"

Rescuer rough but ready
Don't judge a book by its cover, says Richard Thompson: "Our 17-year-old caregiver learned a lot when she broke down on Auckland's North-western Motorway yesterday. With smoke coming from the car, she removed our 3- and 7-year-olds plus our dog and sheltered them at the side of the lane. Flash cars slowed so their owners could abuse her. It was the rough-looking guy with tattoos who crossed the motorway to ensure they were okay and call the police with the last $1 on his mobile to help. Our sincere thanks to the real Samaritan."

Light-fingered lover
Jason from Plumbing World in New Lynn writes: "One of the plumbers who shops here found a copy of the NZ Herald from 1925 while on the job. Attached is a scan of one of the stories which I found to be rather droll, regarding a light-fingered Italian admirer."

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Strange Customs ...
The British Publishers' Circular and Booksellers' Record of September 1957 records: "Officials recently impounded a work called Rape Round Our Coasts. I don't know what sort of minds these yahoos have but I hope they enjoyed the book. It is about soil erosion!" (Via: Weird Universe)

Read this: 25 great anti-jokes...

Do this: Click the link and blow directly onto the screen...

Picture this: Pizza Bed....

Picture this: Inventors of the selfie...

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Video: The stairs leading to the Maracana Stadium wobble and shake as hundreds of supporters climb them on the night Argentina beat Bosnia.

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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