Look up a list to find the sport
Some suggestions for the Olympics teams to "make it easier for us to support them". "Let's call the rowers, the New Zealand rowing team. And the swimmers, the New Zealand swimming team. And the beach volleyball team, the New Zealand beach volleyball team. I think these names are ideal, because you see, the teams are from New Zealand, and they play a particular sport (swimming, rowing etc). Sounds simple, eh? Why do people think it's compulsory to give each team a stupid name? The same debate is growing in Australia where they have even stupider names such as the Matildas, the Joeys, the Kangaroos, the Wallabies etc. You shouldn't have to go and look up a list to understand what sport and country a team with a dingbat name actually plays. Wait a minute - that's a great name for the New Zealand Nomenclature Team - the dingbats."
Crisis at the pumps
George writes about another petrol spill. "Some months ago I took my mower petrol container to a local garage. Upon removing the pump nozzle petrol gushed everywhere without my squeezing the trigger. It was jammed on. I hit the switch in the side of the pump then called to the attendant. As usual he was not to be seen, and the two ning-nongs in a vehicle only taunted me. Eventually the attendant appeared in the shop area and did not seem to understand why I was bellowing for the pump to be switched off. Clearly he would not cope with any major incident."