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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: July 21: Impressive claims

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
20 Jul, 2014 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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I assume the Christian Science Reading Room on Karangahape Rd ran their impressive claims past their lawyers, says Peter.

Marital disharmony

A wife writes: "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone. Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my 'excuses', using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his 'document', we've only had sex three times in the last seven weeks, out of 27 'attempts' on his part." (Source: Via Reddit)

Getting into bed with Australians

Malloy noticed in a flyer that the NZ-made beds by AH Beard all have Australian names! "Adelaide, Brisbane, Perth and Melbourne. Why would an NZ-made bed company use foreign names for their beds? How about Auckland or Whakatane?"

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More stupid arguments

1. Erin once shared a flat in London many years ago with a fellow Kiwi who insisted that the fictitious Albert Square on the soap Eastenders actually existed, because you could sometimes see the underground station of the same name on the show. "He still insisted it was real even after I asked him to point it out on the tube map (and couldn't)."

2. Elizabeth says she worked with a lady who swore daylight savings robbed her of 1 hour's sleep EVERY night. "Her mother once put the plastic electric kettle on the stove hob to heat the water - result, one melted plastic kettle and ruined stove element, and almost house fire."

Inconsiderate parking by Hone's bus at the Internet Party meeting at Kerikeri. "And yes, there were acres of room for the bus to be parked considerately," adds the local witness.

Picture this: A Pinterest board filled with pictures which make this user uncomfortable...

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Picture this: A Jewish woman and a Palestinian woman protesting together in 1973, 1992, and 2001...

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Local: The Henry Rudolph Singers and Dancers perform four song and dance numbers at the National Film Unit studio, Miramar.

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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