NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: July 11: Puns for the highbrow

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
10 Jul, 2013 05:30 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Puns for the highbrow: Who orchestrated this? (Via Reddit)

Lemon error doesn't grate

A reader writes: "Recently, some unsolicited mail addressed to my mother arrived at my place. It was promoting a lemon juice diet with rapid slimming capsules. Not only did she never live at my home, but in 1999 she passed away and was cremated. With her often macabre sense of humour, I can imagine her conjecturing on just how much slimmer this business thought she could possibly be ... "

Making a first class noise over nothing

"I was very interested to read about the protests regarding the Airways NZ Smart Approaches trial," writes a reader. "I live in Beachlands and if you took any notice of the map shown in the article, you will see that I live right under the existing approach path. We probably have many more planes fly over us daily than those in the trial and at all hours of the day and night. I don't have anything to complain about, the noises don't bother me or my young family. To those doing the complaining, stop being so elitist!"

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Broccoli claim hard to digest

Surely US President Barack Obama wasn't serious when he told a group of children that his favourite food is broccoli? While at the White House's Kids' State Dinner Obama claimed to love broccoli now, but admitted he didn't go for it so much as a kid, the Washington Post reported. His affection for the vegetable is a contrast to former President George H. W. Bush who banned broccoli aboard Air Force One.

Paranoia is building

After a three-hour drive from Ontario a 63-year-old man trying to visit the Legoland Discovery Centre in Toronto was turned away at the door because he didn't have a child with him. John St-Onge has been a Lego fanatic ever since his children were young and he now has about 75 sets, comprising about 50,000 pieces of Lego. "It made me feel awful. I thought what the heck is the reason for this? If they gave me a reason maybe I could understand but they gave me no reason," he said.

Trendy way to go

Discover more

New Zealand

What's in a (Maori) name?

03 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

The real Barbie

04 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

July 8: Paperless budget

07 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

Enrique's in the frame

08 Jul 05:30 PM

A power outage in the inner-northern suburbs of Melbourne created a Twitter trend as the young and hip residents shared #hipstergeddon. Declan Fay tweeted that Brunswick hipsters had to "huddle for warmth around a single iPad. There is only 3 per cent battery left." Johan suggested that bearded men were under threat in Northcote: "Wild herds of cats are roaming down High St, dragging bearded men to the ground and devouring them." Shane Sullivan joked that folk rockers Mumford & Sons had announced a benefit concert for #hipstergeddon survivors. (Source: Sun Herald)

Picture this: It's never too early to get your child interested in the family business...

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Maps: The true size of Africa...

Kidnapped groom prank goes wrong: They set off smoke grenades and threw him in the back of a van where he was bound, gagged and dressed in a Guantánamo Bay-style jumpsuit, driven100 miles and was then made to strip, given a mankini and bicycle and told to cycle to his stag party in Exeter, Devon, more than 10 miles away. Apparently this poor groom was so frightened by the whole ordeal he came down with a serious case of shingles and had to postpone the wedding.

Video: Motorcyclist saves cuppa...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New ZealandUpdated

'Tsunami of threats': Auckland uni ordered to pay Siouxsie Wiles $200k

03 Jun 09:51 PM
New ZealandUpdated

'Significant loss': Paihia fire devastates historic ship

03 Jun 09:38 PM
Opinion

NZ Herald comments: The stories open for discussion today

03 Jun 09:31 PM

‘No regrets’ for Rotorua Retiree

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Recommended for you
'Significant loss': Paihia fire devastates historic ship
Northern Advocate

'Significant loss': Paihia fire devastates historic ship

03 Jun 09:38 PM
German police race to charge McCann suspect before prison release
World

German police race to charge McCann suspect before prison release

03 Jun 09:36 PM
NZ Herald comments: The stories open for discussion today
New Zealand

NZ Herald comments: The stories open for discussion today

03 Jun 09:31 PM
'Dramatic temperature drop': Kiwis brace for severe winter storm
New Zealand

'Dramatic temperature drop': Kiwis brace for severe winter storm

03 Jun 09:28 PM
GDT: Prices dip 1.6% in first auction of the season
The Country

GDT: Prices dip 1.6% in first auction of the season

03 Jun 09:17 PM

Latest from New Zealand

'Tsunami of threats': Auckland uni ordered to pay Siouxsie Wiles $200k

'Tsunami of threats': Auckland uni ordered to pay Siouxsie Wiles $200k

03 Jun 09:51 PM

The final amount was more than Wiles first sought from her employer.

'Significant loss': Paihia fire devastates historic ship

'Significant loss': Paihia fire devastates historic ship

03 Jun 09:38 PM
NZ Herald comments: The stories open for discussion today

NZ Herald comments: The stories open for discussion today

03 Jun 09:31 PM
Chlöe Swarbrick and Brooke van Velden react to Simeon Browns comments on state owned businesses

Chlöe Swarbrick and Brooke van Velden react to Simeon Browns comments on state owned businesses

Why Cambridge is the new home of future-focused design
sponsored

Why Cambridge is the new home of future-focused design

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP
search by queryly Advanced Search