A reader writes: Driving through picturesque Oratia on the outskirts of West Auckland I noticed an SUV with the number plate MRSTAB and my son and I were trying to work out if it was being driven by a lady from the TAB or some guy with a knife!?"
Poll shenanigans
Someone is trying to swing a poll on Minister Murray McCully's website about the Marriage Equality Bill. Pastor Peter Mortlock at the Impact Church emailed his worshippers encouraging them to vote: "Since we are able to vote as many times as we like, I'd encourage you to place your votes and keep checking back." But ministerial staffers have cottoned on and the site now explains that multiple votes will be removed. Rigging a poll doesn't seem very Christian does it? In the name of fairness, Sideswipe readers can go to www.mccully.co.nz and vote.
Putting petrol heads together
Murray Hunter from Titirangi writes: "The Whangamata Coastal News last Thursday had a letter complaining that the local New World supermarket switched from BP to Mobil petrol vouchers and Whanga only has a Z garage. Meanwhile, Waihi has BP and Mobil but only a Countdown, which gives Z vouchers. So once a month Whanga people meet their friends from Waihi and swap supermarket petrol vouchers they can use in their home town. Creative eh?"
Expressions that exasperate
Trade Me users share the phrases that give them the heebies ...
1. "My bad" instead of my mistake.
2. Saying "nom nom nom" about a pleasant tasting food.
3. "Yeah, nah" ... come on, which is it?
4. When kids say "just jokes" after they have said something mean.
5. "Nek minnit" ... was good but thrashed to death now!
6. "Just sayin(g)" ... a way of avoiding responsibility for your own opinions.
7. "I am so jelly" ... short for "I am so jealous" apparently.
8. "Totes" (totally) and "totes amazeballs" used by anyone over 20 years old, unless with heavy irony.
9. "Vee jay jay" as a cutesy term for vagina.
10. "When push comes to shove."
11. "Whatever floats your boat."
12. "Passionate" ... so overused, it's lost all its va-voom.
13. "First world problem" ... done its dash.
14. "WE are pregnant" ... No. She is pregnant and he fathered the kid.
15. "Dub Dub Dub dot" ... Just say the domain name!
Picture this: Famous album covers re-imagined with kittens...
