Best student comebacks 1. A teacher pointed towards student with her ruler and announced to the class: "At the end of this ruler there is an idiot!" One student replied: "Which end?"
2. My sister's mate at school got told, "You must'vebeen at the back of the queue when God was giving out brains." She replied, quick as a flash with: "At least I was in the queue."
3. Teacher: Nihal, you know you can't sleep in my class. Nihal: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
"How's this for a slice of ciabatta straight, untouched, from the toaster?" writes Howard Williams of Paremoremo.
4. Teacher: You idiot there, tell me what was the last thing I said? Student: You idiot there, tell me what was the last thing I said?
5. Chemistry teacher: Now, carbon monoxide isn't very reactive. It just doesn't do very much. Student: Apart from kill people, sir. Teacher: Apart from kill people, yes.
6. Kindergarten teacher: "[Kid's name], it looks like your shoes are on the wrong feet!" Kid: "Nope, these are my feet."
Read it and weep Harvard University medical researcher Mark Shrime documented recently how easily made-up research can wind up in reputable-sounding academic journals by submitting an article composed by random-generating text software, supposedly about "the surgical and neoplastic role of cacao extract in breakfast cereals" (and authored by "Pinkerton A. LeBrain and Orson Welles"). Of 37 journals, 17 quickly accepted it, some feigning actually having read it, with the only catch being that Shrime would have to pay a standard $500 fee for publication. Shrime warned that some of the journals have titles dangerously close to highly-respected journals and cautions journalist (and reader) skepticism.
(News of the Weird)
Infuriating neighbour behaviour. (Via Shazzabam on Reddit NZ)
