Alf Hoyle, from Rotorua, has another fishing yarn: "We were fishing the Utahina stream mouth where it enters Lake Rotorua after meandering through a large housing area and parts of the industrial part of Rotorua. Two solitary anglers enjoying one of those magic evenings - abrilliant sunset and a slight lift to the water. We had fished for two hours without a sign of a trout when just on sunset, floating down the stream, came a part of a mattress slowly followed by a torn pantyhose. My elderly mate reeled in and made the comment that ... it appeared the sport was better in the upper reaches of the stream than it was at the mouth and, bugger it, he was going home ... closely followed by me."
Worker's six-year paid holiday
In Cadiz, Spain, a civil servant was set to receive a plaque for his 20 years of service when his colleagues couldn't find him. Turns out, he was on vacation leave - for the past six years. In that time Joaquin Garcia, 69, never actually showed up for work at the local water treatment plant, but he still collected his $41,500 pay. Garcia said he went to work every day, it's just that there wasn't anything to do. He also didn't want to quit, fearing he might never find another job. A court ordered Garcia to pay a $30,000 fine, the largest penalty allowed. So what did he do for those six years? Garcia's friends said the man got into reading about philosophy.
Proof that dentists do have a sense of humour. Photo / Supplied
Most embarrassing first job faux pas. "My first real job, aged 19, went well until my first annual appraisal. I suddenly felt like I was going to sneeze and put my hands up in front of my mouth as I didn't have a tissue on me. I sneezed and it was only as I started to pull my hands away that I realised that I had sneezed out so much snot that my hands and face were absolutely covered in it - not unlike Bill Murray in Ghostbusters. So I desperately tried to excuse myself, while noticing that my manager was slowly becoming aware of the full horror of the situation. As I reached the door I realised the door handle was one of those round twist handles rather than a pull down and there was no escape without using my snot-covered hands to turn the door knob. At this point my manager came over and, without looking at me, opened the door and let me out. Off I scarpered to the toilets and attempted to clean myself up. I never finished the appraisal. I had a new job six weeks later."
