Sideswipe: December 17: Horns of a dilemma

Bayleys Northland country saleswoman Catherine Stewart was on a property inspection with a farmer in Ruawai, and after returning to the house found these two hood ornaments. Her immediate reaction was: "How did they get up there?". Closely followed by, "and more importantly - how the hell are they going to get down without doing any damage!"

Wing and a prayer

Alabama pastor Wesley Savage is taking his Sunday services out of the house of God and into the local Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in order to reach people who ordinarily wouldn't go to a church. He's promoting this with the tagline "Wings. Prayer. Sports." and says the service will be held 45 minutes before the restaurant opens.

The art of giving

"It must be tricky for grandparents when it comes to Christmas gifts for numerous grandchildren," writes Rebecca. "You want to be fair and even, so the sensible thing to do is to give everyone the same thing. The girls in my family once got high-waisted overly-large underpants and a packet of raisins (it was the 70s), another time we all got toenail clippers, and when we got to adulthood the more progressive grandparents gave all 12 cousins a box of flavoured condoms. My grandmother was intrigued."

The wrong mix

The Food and Veterinary Administration of Denmark shut down the food supplier Nordic Ingredients after learning that it used an ordinary cement mixer to prepare products for nursing-home and hospital patients unable to swallow whole food. An FVA official told a reporter, "It was an orange cement mixer just like bricklayers use. There were layers [of crusty remains] from previous uses." (Source: The Local Copenhagen)

Snigger-worthy typo

(Via @ThomasRimmerNZ)

Ticketing wisdom

"When I was a traffic officer in Eden/Newmarket back in the late 1970s, I had a senior traffic sergeant who passed on his wisdom regarding the issuance of traffic/parking tickets," writes Peter. "His officers had complete discretion regarding their issuing of tickets or warnings. His only measure of 'success' was our understanding that whatever action we took, it would lead to the violator not repeating their illegal behaviour(s) in future. A sincere apology for your misdeeds as you were rolling down the window went a long way in those days."

Frankincense and mirth

Wise Man 1: "I bring frankincense."

WM 2: "I bring myrhh."

WM 3: "And I bring gold."

WM 1&2: "Crikey mate, thought we agreed a $10 limit?" (Via Andrew Kay on Twitter)

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz