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Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: December 1: Advertisement for males

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
30 Nov, 2014 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

"Not sure of connection between sheet metal and a headless woman in a bikini," writes Anna.

Move on washers applauded
Tristan is delighted the council is going to prosecute intersection windscreen washers. "Every afternoon I pass through the intersection by Avondale racecourse. It's a big, busy spot, usually about 4-5 window washers on the go at peak times. Annoyingly they keep hitting the pedestrian buttons to make the traffic stop, even though no one is there to cross. Peak time is bad enough, this makes it even more frustrating. They have to go!"

Two for the price of one
"Driving out of Middlemore Hospital car park, the driver in front waves me to pass," writes Able. "I reach the barrier, insert ticket, barrier pole goes up. As I exit, the car behind me also squeezes past, before the pole comes down, so my parking ticket gets two cars for the price of one. I don't mind helping out a fellow driver, I just didn't know this was possible. If the tailgater gets it wrong, does the pole come down on their roof?"

Vegan club rivals Vegas
Portland's Casa Diablo is a vegan strip club. It serves vegan food, and does not permit dancers to wear fur, leather, feathers, or wool when performing. All hell broke loose when the club held its first ever Black Friday sale and patrons got into a brawl over 59c-a-minute lap dances. "We don't normally have much trouble," said club manager Renewable Rhonda. "The biggest incident we've had was a patron who ... demanded a refund on his lap dance when he realised Wendy Wheatgrass wasn't wearing a fair-trade garter." (Source: That Oregon Life)

Junk mail galore
Just moved into a new pad in Milford on the North Shore. So much for the "No junk mail" sign on my letterbox. I think the sign works in reverse, attracting the damn stuff. Seems to happen every recycling day. Was three times this amount [pictured right] two weeks ago!

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Message rammed home
A sheep farmer in Willingdon, East Sussex, UK wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Emily Walker, in a creative way. Henry Brown painted five sheep with the phrase "Emily, will ewe marry me?" Walker said yes.

Video: Gorgeous tourism promotion for New Zealand from 1980, narrated by Bob Parker who breezily says: "It's a safe country. You can walk without being molested."

Picture this: The anthropomorphic animals in Richard Scarry's classic picture book, Busy Town, now have contemporary jobs...

Gifted real estate listing writer: Man lists house for sale and writes an hilarious listing describing his neighbourhood as "relatively stabby-free" and the small third bedroom as suitable for a "nursery, massage room, a really tiny home theatre or panic room"...

Video: Satirical Canadian TV show, The Rick Mercer Report, has a crack at the New Zealand dairy industry after concerns over Canada's dairy tariffs...

Discover more

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Sideswipe: Ted goes to Aussie

23 Nov 04:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Gym Poster Misfire

24 Nov 04:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Stubborn stacker

25 Nov 04:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Pick me, I'm single

26 Nov 04:00 PM

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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