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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: Dec 19: Fake horse carnage

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
18 Dec, 2012 04:30 PM3 mins to read

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Photo / Supplied

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No animals were harmed in this joke: Spotted on Collingwood Rd, Waiuku. "The horse is not real of course - it's one of those model horses they have at equestrian saddle shops," says our tipster.

No point following the footprints

Time to install a webcam, maybe? A reader writes: "I hope whoever has been stealing shoes from my front doorstep (which is not visible from the road and surrounded by three sides of brick & frosted glass) in our lovely Te Atatu Peninsula has a very Merry Xmas in my somewhat smelly, yet expensive shoes. Opening door on Saturday to yet another pair of uplifted shoes - that's two pairs in two months. Expensive Overland khaki lace ups and Nike blue/white slip-ons both s13 (yes I have heard all the jokes!) ... I have heard of foot fetishes but this is ridiculous. I shall have a typical Kiwi Xmas day no doubt, in bare feet ... while someone at your Christmas table will be wafting my odour from their size 13s."

Guitarist misses note but finds coins

A man who searched down the back of his second-hand sofa for a missing guitar plectrum could not believe his luck when he found £85 ($163) worth of coins. Norman Hore, 65, of Newquay, Cornwall, was at home with friends when he dropped his instrument's pick and began rummaging in the crevices of his couch. "There were some £2 coins down there too and I would have noticed losing them. It must have been cash that has slipped out of trouser pockets."

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Betcha didn't know ...

1) In China, crowded public swimming pools are described as boiling dumplings.

2) The five-second rule is true, and that food has 10 times more bacteria after a minute on the floor than after just five seconds.

3) Apple holds the patent for rounded corners on electronic devices. But if that's not a strange enough patent for you, then get this: the "double comb-over", made famous by Donald Trump, which involves hair coming from different sides of the scalp and being plastered into place over the bald pate has been patented as "Method of concealing partial baldness".
(Source BBC Magazine Monitor)

Thrifty Scot saves heaps on Christmas tree

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04 Dec 04:29 PM
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Location, location, location

05 Dec 04:30 PM
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06 Dec 04:30 PM

Graham Jamieson writes: "I phoned my mother in Scotland today to wish her happy 87th birthday. She was busy putting up her 65-year-old Christmas tree. The first year she bought a 'live' Christmas tree but her mother was upset at the mess it left behind so she bought an artificial tree ... My son bought his first artificial tree yesterday but at 29 years old I doubt if he will be lucky enough to see it reach its 65th Christmas."

Visual gags: The best mug shots of 2012...

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Behaving badly: Frank got drunk, took a taxi home but accidentally entered the wrong townhouse (next door) where it all went downhill ... Here's the note the neighbour slipped under his door explaining a few gaps in his night...

Picture this: Following yesterday's Celebirding site celebirding.tumblr.com combining birds, celebrities and puns a reader sent in these incredible art works which are part bird, part historic portrait (Avianrenaissance) by local Auckland artist Julian Hindson. Take a look...

Video: Greenpeace have made this video to mark the Rainbow Warrior coming to New Zealand in January. New Zealand Story shows some of the people and events in New Zealand's history that embody the best of the New Zealand character and asks us all to think about what we stand for.

Got a Sideswipe?

Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at

ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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