Sideswipe: Dec 13: Dead ringer

Ian Smith (left) and Lynda Topp's Ken character. Photo / Supplied

Chris Parsons thinks cricket commentator Ian Smith is a dead ringer for Lynda Topp's Ken character.

Message for lingerie lingerers

Mary writes: "Would someone please tell men that it is not okay to stand around in any women's clothing store/lingerie department while their partner shops. I don't care if their partner wants them there. Other women don't. Why don't they wait outside?"

Mum: 'I'm not dead yet'

A Pennsylvania man published an obituary for his still-living mother in an attempt to get paid bereavement time off work. Relatives called the newspaper to report that the woman was actually alive and well and, to emphasise that fact, the woman visited the paper, too. Police say Scott Bennett wrote up the memorial notice because he didn't want to get fired for taking time off. (Source: Nothing To Do With Arbroath)

Not-so-easy Tiger

"I was charged $11.50 for a standard-sized glass of Tiger beer on Friday night at a bar next to Sky City," says this reader. "Was there a public holiday I didn't know about? I thought the Rugby World Cup had finished? By the way, a dozen bottles of Tiger will set you back $19.99 at Countdown."

A grander entrance

Real Estate agents sometimes upgrade suburbs in house ads, but all you need is a different entrance, says Howard Jack. "Three sections on Ngapipi Rd, Orakei complete with vehicle crossings. Build a block wall on the street boundary and bring the drive in from the road behind. Bingo, the addresses are now Paritai Drive. Magic upgrade."

Under the mountain

"I'm sorry Liz and partner had their romantic evening on Mt Eden interrupted. I can assure her the constant bombardment of bottles, rubbish, KFC buckets, thumping music, and even the odd tyre landing on our roof made our lives anything but bland. These rules and regulations have been very welcome to those of us living next to the reserve."

Thanks to taxi elves

I lost my glasses in a taxi on election night. Two days ago a friend was in a taxi, and when asked where he was going, he told the driver "Waiheke Island". The driver said, "You don't know the person that owns these glasses, do you?" "Yes", said our friend. Thanks to Auckland Co-op Taxi elves, and our friend.