Sideswipe: Build a bridge

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Remember Liz Shaw? She is a fame-seeker who has auditioned for NZ Idol, was dumped as an extra on Shortland Street for leaking plot details, and posed for photos with Steve Crow and was interviewed about it on 20/20. Now she's running as an independent for the Auckland Central seat and appears to be taking the suggestion that a bridge be built between Australia and New Zealand er, seriously.

Reservoir do

After a man urinated in the reservoir in Portland, Oregon that supplies city drinking water, the city took it offline and said it would cost about $43,000 to drain, clean and refill it. "It's 8 million gallons and there are people who will say it's an overreaction," said David Shaff, of the Portland Water Bureau. "I don't think so. I think just dealing with the 'yuck factor', I can imagine how many people would be saying 'I made orange juice with that water this morning. That's not what I want to hear'."

Doesn't add up

Stewart just noticed this little anomaly on his Tip Top icecream. "Has maths changed that much since I was at school or is 9.8g /100g LESS than the 10 per cent minimum fat content required to call your product icecream? Or perhaps under today's pathetic interpretation of the law, 9.8 per cent is "close enough" to the 10 per cent required. We wouldn't want to hurt Tip Top's feelings, would we?"

Samaritan rescues cheque

Once a year Ann Andrews sells tulip bulbs to raise money for the Auckland Parkinson's Society. "Last Sunday my husband went out in the rain, clutching a stamped addressed envelope contained the cheques for the Parkinson's charity. Somehow it slipped from his fingers. Five days later the missing cheques arrived at the society intact in a crisp new white envelope. Thanks to the Samaritan who went to the trouble to pick up a soggy envelope, examine its contents and send it safely on its way."

Munted acceptable

A reader writes: "I had surgery on my shoulder eight years ago. Afterwards I remember a groggy discussion with the surgeon in the recovery room. I asked how it went, and he replied: 'It was pretty munted, but we got it all fixed up'. If the word is good enough for him, it's good enough for our media."

For when munted won't do

Geoff says using the word munted is self explanatory and part of everyday speech. "I listened to a story on National Radio a while ago, I think an interview with Chris Laidlaw. The nice lady talked about Christchurch being munted, and introduced us to 'futterly ucked' - in common usage apparently and use to over-emphasise munted. I laughed because this lady could talk about something being futterly ucked on public radio, but could not bring herself to use the word 'rooted'. Rooted has been in the vernacular longer than munted. She described the word as 'R something D' and left us to fill in the blanks. Now that's futterly ucked I reckon."