"Have you got your iPod?" "Yes."
"Have you got your train ticket?" "Yes."
"Have you got the camera?" "Yes."
"Have you got your walking boots?" "Yes"
''Have you got ..."
"Look woman! I've got everything, OK? I've got my iPod, I've got my train ticket, my wallet, my boots, the camera, the lunch is in the car, the maps are in my bag, I have a book, I have the newspaper, I have bottles of water, I've even got the recycling ready to drop off on the way to the car, I'm not a child, I don't need you to list everything one by one, I can remember things on my own, OK?"
"OK, only trying to help."
An hour later: "Why do you keep pulling your trousers up? You forgot your belt didn't you?" "Yes."
Spooked by loo lady
A female voice welcoming people to a public lavatory in Church Stretton, Shropshire, has upset some male users, who say it is putting them off the job in hand. Now views are sought on whether it should be changed to a masculine voice, be silenced or left alone. Deputy Mayor Tom Beaumont said: "Some gentlemen are finding a lady's voice very disconcerting. We have even had a vicar visit the town council to say he was a bit put off
by this woman suddenly speaking to him." ' The town council has invited men to speak up on how they want to be spoken to in the loo.
Stolen terrier
Robyn writes: "My dog was stolen on Friday, August 12, from Hunters Corner, Papatoetoe. He is an Australian terrier and is brown and tan. $1000 reward - no questions asked." Contact Robyn 021 267-7454 or Greg 021 811-610.