Sideswipe: April 3: Spouting off gets you in trouble

This customer was seen coming out of Placemakers, Lunn Ave, Mt Wellington with a full length of spouting poking out the side window. Photo / Supplied

This driver (above) drove out of Placemakers Mt Wellington and straight into trouble. Says a witness: "Around the corner, it all went pear-shaped. The spouting folded in two back on itself. Don't think spouting is made to be that flexible."

Slippery slope
Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana has taken a small South African business to court, accusing it of diluting the luxury brand's name. It demanded Dolce and Banana, an exotic jewellery business, rebrands. "The name Dolce and Banana makes a mockery of the well-known trademark Dolce & Gabbana", its 300-page affidavit to the Cape High Court says. Shop owner Mijou Beller has since renamed her business "... and Banana". "We don't have the money to fight them, so decided to change the name," she said.

Village idiot
The entire village (almost!) of Sodeto, Spain, shared the grand prize in the country's huge Christmas lottery, earning each of the 70 households the equivalent of at least $130,000. The joint buy-in of tickets is a town ritual, but one resident missed the canvassing: film-maker Costis Mitsotakis, who said he was happy that everyone else was happy. (Source: News of the Weird)

Dating disasters
Date stories #1: The third time I stayed at this guy's place I finally met his flatmate. "Your flatmate's nice," I said later. "That's my mum," he said. "What?! How old is she?" I asked. "Thirty-eight," he said. I was 34.

Date stories #2: "I went on a first date with this girl who was really, really attractive. I'm talking impossibly beautiful - not faked and over-done, but natural - so when she came out with a couple of conversational clangers over the course of the night, I didn't dwell on them. I ignored them. At the end of the night I was keen on bedding her (obviously) but after we had a bit of a snog, she looked up at me and said ...'I love you.' We'd known each other for five hours. I sent her packing, as anything else would be just asking for trouble."

Hit and run
A reader writes: "I was standing outside Toto Restaurant in the city on Saturday night at 7.30. A large pale four-wheel-drive Nissan Murano was attempting to squeeze into a park doing at least a 10-point turn. It then backs into a parked green Rav 4, just above the rear left hand wheel arch. The Nissan driver didn't leave a note acknowledging the damage, so if you own a dinged Green Rav, contact Sideswipe for the rego."

Drawing a veil
Judy writes: "On Friday in St Marys Bay, I came home to find a long bridal veil on my doorstep. I'm guessing the wind blew it there, dropped from a car or off a clothesline. Someone must be frantic to find it. Call me and give a description if it's yours: 021-209-2420."