Layout gone wrong. (Via Bad Newspaper)
Hardly inviting
Phil writes: "I was picking up a prescription at Ascot Hospital and noticed a sign for the cafe on the second floor. Maybe I'm being a touch sensitive but is the name "Resus Cafe" just a bit inappropriate? As your loved one lies in the intensive care unit I can only imagine how you'd feel if the nurse said, 'Why don't you come and have a coffee at Resus?'"
Unusual hairdressing skills required
Want a bad haircut and some awkward conversation? Like a scene out of a bad sexploitation movie an ad for a Topless Hairdresser has popped up on MyJobSpace.co.nz. Looking for "an attractive topless female hairdresser to cut guys' hair. For $100 an hour you will just cut hair," says the ad. "It's really fun, every guy leaves with a huge smile, and you are making great money," it reads optimistically. "You need to be competent at cutting guys' hair, but you do not need to be fully qualified ... You obviously also need to be confident with taking your top off, but it is relatively private (shop windows covered). And hey, it's no different to sunbathing topless!"
So sorry, I must go
A Reddit user handed in notice at his job by sending this to his bosses: "I am sorry that my stepmother died so suddenly from cancer. I am sorry that I am not a robot and was emotionally affected by her passing and had to miss work. I am sorry that I got sick and had to miss work so that I didn't get anyone else sick. I am sorry I work 47.5 hours per week (without getting paid the overtime that I am legally owed) for the last seven months, and thus have little choice but to schedule necessary doctor's appointments during school hours. Clearly I am a terrible employee, and for that I apologise. I know you hate people telling you how to do your job, but I suggestyou start looking for my replacement. Immediately." (Source: DailyMail)
Not so Breaking
Misuse of the Breaking News heading.
Blame the kids
So Spotify reckons a midlife crisis hits at 42 when you regress and listen to the pop charts again? This is easily explained another way, according to one reader. "I feel like age 42 is more likely to be the age where your pesky kids annex your Spotify account as their own and drown out your undoubtedly sophisticated tastes with a deluge of painful 'pop bangers', rather than the age where people all of a sudden decide Leonard Cohen sucks and Taylor Swift is the second coming of Christ. In saying that, I can see how this could cause a midlife crisis regardless."