KEY POINTS:
Brad Shipton was involved in a punch-up just a few days ago. It was a fight born of that rare occurrence - a cop behind bars. He is a target in jail - a high-profile ex-policeman in a high-profile case.
It's not the first time he's been set
on by fellow inmates. He doesn't expect it'll be the last. For the former body-building cop, there's no such thing now as a good day. The good days ended two years ago in front of a High Court jury in Wellington.
But even now, Shipton, in his first public interview, is trying to defend himself. He knows he's reviled by many New Zealanders.
He "deeply regrets" doing things he's "ashamed" of; things, he says, have cost him everything - his home, his business and what was left of his reputation.
"At the end of the day I am embarrassed and ashamed about what I've done in the past. [It's] something I regret more than anything in my life."
But that's as far as he will go in terms of remorse. Shipton's denial that he is the "monster" he's been painted to be reveals almost a sense of disbelief that he has ended up where he has - in a cell, fighting off scalp-hunting crims and picking over the ruins of his life.
Shipton knows he is on the wrong side of public opinion - but says in spite of the drama, the controversy and the seemingly endless allegations, he's not the vicious rapist people perceive him to be. "I have done things I'm ashamed of and I can't change that. But I have never harmed anyone," he insists.
Others obviously think differently.
His life these days is spent caged up alone, emerging only for meals and work. His comfortable life in the'burbs is gone. But few have sympathy for him and fellow accused, ex-policeman Bob Schollum, fireman Warren Hales and lifeguard Peter McNamara.
Shipton acknowledges most think they got what they deserved. He even accepts there are others who will say prison is too good for him. He knows he'll never change their opinions.
There are those who still support him. Friends, family and "some people in very very high positions".
"People can dress that up [the group sex] anyway they like, but I am no different to a lot of people. There will be a lot of people sitting back very quietly not saying too much," he says.
It's strong rhetoric - and it doesn't end there. He believes suspended Assistant Police Commissioner Clint Rickards should get his old job back now he has been cleared. And Louise Nicholas, whose allegations sparked the police sex case, should take a good hard look at herself. The sex between him and Nicholas was "immoral" but that was all it was, he says.
"The police are quite happy to hang myself, Bob and Clint out to dry and say everything has changed now. I don't know if it has or not. I haven't been a police officer for a long time, but we were no different to a lot of other people," Shipton says.
"People will be screaming blue murder that that's not true. Not everyone, though, has their private lives published in every newspaper and on every television channel."
He says Rickards has suffered enormously. "They are trying to make Clint a sacrificial lamb for the police... He's an exceptionally good police officer. Rickards has been found not guilty of everything he's been charged with and he should be allowed to decide exactly what he wants to do now."
Shipton doesn't expect his decision to speak out will win him friends but he insists he has the right to be heard.
"This has been so extremely difficult, it's beyond belief.
People think prison is easy life. It's not - and especially not for us." He says it is bad enough being an ex-cop in prison, but an ex-cop with a profile like his would always be targeted.
He wants people to know he is coping, though at times it feels like the boredom will kill him. "Seventeen hours a day locked in your cell with nothing to stimulate your mind. You certainly have a lot of time with your own thoughts."
He knows when he finally gets out it will be a case of rebuilding his life from scratch. "I have lost everything, I have lost all my businesses, my house, all my money." But he maintains he was a "good police officer who did his best. "At the end of the day, I am able to live with myself."
