Shelling out thousands to find the perfect mate

It took Grisel Hunkin three years, but she found her guy. Photo / Herald on Sunday

The average woman would date dozens of men and spend thousands of dollars before finding Mr Right, according to a Kiwi dating expert.

A survey by a British dating site found the average woman goes out with two dozen men and spends more than £2000 ($4200) before finding that special someone.

But Verity Molloy, owner of Auckland's Speed Date, reckons they're conservative results.

The 37-year-old says a woman on the prowl for a lengthy period could date "at least" that many suitors.

And Molloy says she could easily spend $440 to look her best for one of her company's singles events, although she wouldn't spend that much for every date.

That could include $40 for a spray tan, $60 for hair, up to $100 on an outfit, $40 for accessories, $100 for taxis and another $100 for drinks.

"Everybody's different but $4200 is not excessive at all."

The British survey of 2173 women found 7 per cent went on between 41 and 60 dates before finding someone and 1per cent had up to 80.

Sasha Madarasz, dating agent and owner of Auckland matchmaking agency Two's Company, says most Kiwi women might have between one and five "matches" before finding a relationship, and may go on two or three dates with each person.

She said it was hard to pin down how much money her clients might spend, but suggested women would spend "thousands" making themselves look good.

"If you go on first dates with four men you can wear the same outfit and save money, but if you're going on three, four, five dates with the same man you'll want a new outfit each time."

Relationship coach and www.datingadvice.co.nz founder Denise Corlett said the cost of finding love would vary.

"I know women that had one boyfriend, got married, had kids and are still together, and women who have been on hundreds of dates and are still having difficulty," Corlett said.

"A woman who is keen to find a partner may opt to spend money on herself consistently because she may come across a potential partner anywhere."

Jane Metcalfe, operator of South Island speed dating service Mainland Dating, said not every woman spent up large for a first date. Many women took a pride in their appearance but would only commit to major expense if they got further dates with the same man.

A hard slog finds that Mr Right

After splitting from her husband three years ago, Grisel Hunkin hit the dating scene hard.

Whether it was speed dating, internet dating, or being set up through friends of friends, the Chilean-born mother-of-two tried it all.

Grisel said she had dated a lot more than 24 men but the bad dates - and the cost - paid off when she met Mr Right at a speed dating event a month ago.

"I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I met the prince, but it was worth it."

"I spent a lot more [than $4000] when you think about taxis, events, clothing and everything over three years.

"I didn't get a new outfit for every date, but I did for the important ones."

Although Grisel calls herself an "experienced" dater, she believes there are too many conflicting rules in the dating world - prompting many women to believe they need to change themselves.

"In three years [of dating] I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. I'm good-looking, educated and have a sense of humour, but I still did not find anyone," she said.

"Now I've found a new man and realised you don't need to change yourself."

rebecca.lewis@hos.co.nz