Kezia Kurian’s life was put on hold after her mother’s sudden cancer diagnosis in 2022.
Kezia Kurian’s life was put on hold after her mother’s sudden cancer diagnosis in 2022.
When Hamiltonian Kezia Kurian found out about her mum’s cancer diagnosis by accident, she was shocked to learn that her mum had told no one.
In the hope of helping people to open up about their diagnosis to their loved ones and raising awareness for cancer,Kezia will participate in the Cancer Society’s Relay for Life fundraising walk next month.
Originally from India, Kezia learned about her mum’s cancer diagnosis after her mum caught Covid-19, had trouble breathing, and needed hospital treatment. However, her mum already suspected she had breast cancer before the diagnosis.
“There was no conversation or openness about her suspicions ... hence the diagnosis ... came as a shock,” Kezia said.
She considered their mother-daughter relationship to be close, so she was upset when her mum said nothing to her or her two sisters.
“She didn’t open up to any of us ... Her reasoning was that we were young, had our whole life ahead of us, and she didn’t want to burden any of us.”
Kezia was preparing to leave India for overseas studies when the pandemic hit and her mum was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer which had also spread to her lungs.
With both her sisters already abroad, Kezia hit pause on all her plans to become her mum’s full-time caregiver.
Kezia Kurian and her mum before her breast cancer diagnosis in 2022. Photo / Kezia Kurian
She said she had “absolutely no regrets” about putting her overseas plans on hold, but she wishes she had more support and somebody with an open ear.
“There were days where I just wanted to vent and needed someone to listen to ... it was hard. With my siblings being away, I was always having that feeling that it could be nice to share responsibilities a bit,” Kezia said.
“Often the people who are taking care of people with cancer are overlooked, and there isn’t a lot of support available so it’s nice to sympathise with the caregivers too.”
Kezia said she started exploring study options abroad again when her mum’s “cancer cells became inactive”.
During hospital visits, Kezia and her mum watched a show about a group backpacking through New Zealand. It was this show that inspired Kezia to enrol at the University of Waikato to study towards a m–aster’s degree in Business and Management which she’s now in her last week of completing.
Kezia said she was “glad” when she first heard about Relay For Life while attending university because she met others who were caregivers of people with cancer and who shared stories that hit her “close to home”.
She found that it was good for her to speak to those people about their journeys, something she “didn’t have enough emotional support” with while her mum was sick.
Waikato/Bay of Plenty Cancer Society chief executive Helen Carter.
Kezia said she now encourages others “to open up about any suspicions they have”, and to seek help.
“I don’t want any other woman to not be able to approach a doctor or even family ... there is always so much help available. You have to open up.”
Cancer Society Waikato/Bay of Plenty chief executive Helen Carter said during Relay for Life, participants move around the track for 12 hours, always keeping a baton moving. There is live music and entertainment.
“[It’s about] everyone banding together to fight back against cancer. With one in three of us facing a cancer diagnosis, we need everyone to get involved – our services depend on that support.”
Relay For Life will be held at the University of Waikato on March 29 from 9am to 9pm. Teams can still be registered online at relayforlife.org.nz.
Malisha Kumar is a multimedia journalist based in Hamilton. She joined the Waikato Herald in 2023 after working for Radio 1XX in Whakatāne.
