As a young backpacker, Herald on Sunday editor Alanah Eriksen met the Queen at Buckingham Palace - and her henchmen when she took photos of the royal toilets.
In 2011, Britain was gearing up for the mammoth Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations to mark her 60-year reign.
I was in myearly 20s and on my OE but picking up shifts at English newspapers so I could fund my next European backpacking jaunt. I was also supplementing my income by offering stories to the New Zealand Herald back home and had recently covered William and Kate's wedding (from a special media room rather than inside Westminster Abbey among the 1900 invited guests).
In November, the Queen was hosting a reception at Buckingham Palace for more than 300 journalists and I'd been lucky enough to get an invitation.
I remember religiously checking the letterbox, hoping no one else in our Brixton flat would mistake it as junk and chuck it on the fire.
An invitation to the Palace. Photo / Alanah Eriksen
It finally came, on thick card with her gold letterhead at the top.
"The Master of the Household has received Her Majesty's command to invite Alanah Eriksen to a Reception to be given at Buckingham Palace by the Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh…"
They asked us to wear a day dress or lounge suit. That's royal speak for, a little bit fancy. I cannot tell you how much time I spent agonising over which Primark dress was most appropriate (all money at that point was going toward travel, rent or food).
Alanah Eriksen dressing up at British department store Selfridges ahead of Prince William and Kate's wedding in 2011. Photo / Alanah Eriksen
Ahead of the royal wedding I'd played dress-up at department store Selfridges for a piece about what guests might be wearing. I'd tried on an outfit worth upwards of $5500 (and that was without the matching handbag). Alas, they wouldn't let me take it home.
I also didn't have the clout of New Zealand's First Lady at the time, Bronagh Key, who had Kiwi designers falling over backwards to dress her. I interviewed the couple at New Zealand House before the wedding and John Key couldn't hide his admiration for his "beautiful" wife, dressed in a navy and pink Trelise Cooper dress and matching silk coat.
John and Bronagh Key at New Zealand House in London before attending the royal wedding. Photo / Alanah Eriksen
At the media reception we were welcomed into the palace among a throng of journalists before being asked to line up to meet the monarch.
Someone mentioned we'd need to curtsy - something I'd never done in my life. So I stood there asking British journos for tips and awkwardly practicing as the line inched closer.
I remember the Queen being tiny, but having a huge presence. She wore a green dress with a lighter green coat and sensible black heels but it wasn't her clothes that stood out. It sounds bizarre but the rest of her was almost glowing as she smiled and extended a gloved hand to each member of the media.
I curtsied as one of her people "announced" me: "Alanah Eriksen from the New Zealand Herald". Prince Phillip's ears pricked up and he said, "Oh wow, you've come a long way to see us." I didn't have the heart to tell him I lived a few tube stops away so I just grinned.
Afterwards, we mingled with the Queen.
Okay, well she mingled with a few special people in the crowd - like the famous British TV hosts Philip Schofield and Fearne Cotton.
William and Kate were there too, as were Charles and Camilla. Kate cut a statuesque figure among the crowd. In a green dress by British designer Mulberry, she towered over most people.
Prince Phillip, 90 at the time, came over to our group for small talk. I told him I was from Rotorua and he remarked he'd been there in 1954 on his "honeymoon tour" with the Queen. That's all we got and like a well-seasoned mingler, he was off to the next group.
I thought the royal loos were the perfect place for a quick snap, away from the prying eyes of Her Majesty's loyal staffers.
The washrooms were everything you'd imagine for a palace - plush red carpet, upholstered green and gold chairs and toilet seats that were more like actual seats.
I snapped away on my little orange digital camera (no point using my phone - we were still years away from good-quality pictures from those).
As soon as I walked out, two of the Queen's henchmen (that's not what they're called but it sounds more dramatic) were waiting. They demanded I delete the photos and stood over me as I did so.
And there was no satisfaction in knowing the photos would still be waiting for me in the "just deleted" file if I'd taken them with a modern smartphone.
But what was even more concerning was how they knew I'd been taking photos - were there cameras in the loos? Or did a fellow journo rat me out?
It turns out I wasn't the only one captivated by the royal thrones - a year later judo star Gemma Gibbons took photos of them when she was invited to a reception for successful Paralympians and Olympians. She tweeted a photo to her 29,000 followers but there were no henchmen in sight.
Perhaps if you're a silver Olympic medallist and not a lowly Kiwi journo in a Primark dress you're allowed to take pix of a royal flush.
