KEY POINTS:
Having a baby made the difference that no judge or doctor could have made for one Auckland mother.
Helen (not her real name), now 35, grew up in a world awash with alcohol. Her alcoholic father left home when she was 4.
Her mother remarried, to a man who was "abusive in every way" towards his new wife's two young daughters and was later jailed for sexual and physical abuse.
"They would drink, it seemed like every weekend because there was always chaos happening. Every time Mum drank chaos would happen," says Helen.
"I would lie in bed and try and look after my sister and step-sisters and brothers. I would lie awake a scared little child."
When Helen grew up she followed the family tradition. She got a job in her uncle's spraypainting business, and in her spare time she drank.
She did "things I knew were wrong", such as drink-driving. She used to steal registration stickers off people's cars outside the pub. "It was an adrenalin thing". She had numerous accidents.
"I was out of control by the time I was 20 - causing chaos, fights in families, wrecking relationships, because I had continuously drunk too much."
Over the years she has had three or four drink-driving charges. She has never been directed by a court to get treatment, but even if she had she reckons it would not have helped.
"I would have left and gone out and done it till I'd fallen over completely," she says.
She didn't go to a doctor for 14 years and became adept at explaining away any ill effects from drinking.
But when she became pregnant just over two years ago, she decided to seek help. "I pretty much put my hand up and said, I can't even look after myself, how can I look after the baby?"
Her sister found the alcohol helpline and got her to Community Alcohol and Drug Services. She was detoxed when she was 5 months' pregnant.
It wasn't easy. She relapsed several times.
When she finally decided to admit herself to Odyssey House's residential treatment centre in Mt Albert, she had to wait three months for a bed.
"I struggled for three months, having to go shopping, surrounded by alcohol. There was drinking at my place. It was everywhere," she says.
"I would have been dead if I didn't have my son."
She is now half-way through the Odyssey course and wishes she had heard about treatment earlier.
"I could have made myself aware if it was out there a bit more."
* Alcohol and Drug Helpline: 0800 787-797
* Addiction services directory: www.addictionshelp.org.nz
