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Home / Politics

Paul Little: Election - game of Trivial Pursuit

By Paul Little
Herald on Sunday·
8 Mar, 2014 04:30 PM4 mins to read

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Mojo Mathers has been criticised for taking a taxpayer-funded trip to Masterton for a radio interview. Photo / Getty Images

Mojo Mathers has been criticised for taking a taxpayer-funded trip to Masterton for a radio interview. Photo / Getty Images

Opinion by Paul LittleLearn more

Mojo Mathers closed the door behind her and turned the key in the lock. She had to make a conscious effort not to burst into song, but there was nothing she could do to keep that satisfied smile off her face.

Here it was, the end of the week and this Green MP was off to Masterton, yes she was! What's more, she was using taxpayer funds to do it. A free trip to Masterton! On an aeroplane! To talk to a microscopic audience on an access radio programme.

Just imagine! If she wasn't the luckiest girl on earth, then she didn't know who was!

The week began with some mob calling itself the Taxpayers Union (of whom it has been said: Who?) taking the opportunity for media exposure by slagging off Mojo Mathers for doing her dreary duty.

Every time a Green uses a method of transport other than a sandal the Right calls them hypocrites.

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It's the standard of logic that we can look forward to seeing more of between now and the general election.

It is in the Government's interest to avoid dealing with issues of importance and distract the public as they coast to ... hey, did you see those pictures of the Prime Minister derping at Orientation Week? Gosh, he's a character.

Other recent events confirmed this.

The Act Party's James Whyte got drawn into a debate about legalised incest. Because, you know, siblings wanting to marry has reached epidemic proportions and something just has to be done.

Don't be surprised if Whyte doesn't make it to the election - his brain is simply too big to tolerate the trivialities of politics for too long.

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Meanwhile, Labour faces the prospect of running a TV weatherman - the very definition of meat puppet - as its candidate in Rotorua.

We really need someone whose job mainly involved pointing with a stick helping to run the country.

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David Cunliffe had to deal with questions concerning anonymous donations plus a few other financial question marks and a leaked policy stuff-up. On request, most of his donors came out from behind their anonymity but two would not. It's easy to see why anyone would want to keep the fact they had given this guy money a secret. How would you explain it to your family?

And there was Judith Collins, who increasingly gives the impression she could look cornered in the middle of an open field, snarling at suggestions her visit to a Chinese dairy factory, of which her husband is a director, was anything other than proper.

Colin Craig took the week off.

This will indeed be the no-contest election, won by a government whose arrogance - already at Justin Bieber levels - will only grow as the year goes by. The losers, as usual, will be us.


Say what you like about my friends Lorraine and Aaron Cohen, who served 12 years in prison in Penang, but they knew how to do their time in a southeast Asian hellhole without whining.

Schapelle Corby, on the other hand, was reported to have attempted suicide when told that her sister's interview with Australian media might have violated her parole terms and could see her returned to jail.

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Certainly, if the Corbys thought they could get around a ban on Schapelle selling a story to the media by having her sister Mercedes sell one instead, they were being too cute for their own good. Punitive southeast Asian judicial systems do not much care for cute, so for Corby to be surprised by their reaction was disingenuous.

But everything about Corby is disingenuous. She would have known the risks of permitting this interview to happen. Once again, true to form, she showed herself unable to make the right decision.

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