The leaders of New Zealand’s parliamentary political parties have delivered their final speeches of the year.
The adjournment debate wrapped up the parliamentary year, capping off the final sitting block that has primarily been under urgency as the Government pushes through a number of pieces of legislation.
The speeches were used to reflect on the year that’s been and throw some light-hearted barbs at their opponents.
Each leader thanked the parliamentary staff, including security, VIP drivers and the Clerk’s office.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon compared the Labour Party to a box of Favourites.
“For starters, I think all the good ones have gone. After refusing to front the Covid inquiry, I’d say Chris Hipkins would be the flake.
“I think the rest of Labour are a bit like a Cherry Ripe. They seem nice on the outside, but inside they’re deeply, deeply red, and then frankly they’re just best left where they are.”
He also commented on his coalition partners, including Winston Peters.
“[Peters is] actually such a dedicated Foreign Minister that he’s mastered French, and every time I post something on social media, he replies, ‘we’.”
Hipkins spoke after Luxon, saying: “If we ever needed more proof that AI can’t come up with very good jokes, I think we just heard it, because that caps off a shocking year for the Government.”
He had an extended joke about National’s Chris Bishop holding a summer barbecue over the break and the various food, drinks and items the MPs would bring.
“They sent Simeon Brown off to collect the grog, but tragically for them, he forgot his 18-plus card. And so the rest of the caucus is still waiting for their drinks.”
Hipkins said the host, Bishop, “prepared one special meal and it was only for the Prime Minister”.
“A wild mushroom stroganoff that was only for Christopher Luxon’s enjoyment.”
Greens co-leader Marama Davidson took a more sombre approach, speaking of her return to Parliament after cancer treatment.
“Although every experience is different, I have a responsibility to the breast cancer community to not put up any pretence about the challenges that everyone faces after cancer treatment.
“I have had to relay directly to those survivors that none of my return would have been possible without the privilege I have of financial security, of support from whānau and colleagues, of love from the community, and of a supportive place of employment.
“Even then, I’m only just starting to feel my energy returning back to a level that I recognise.”
She went through various pieces of legislation and decisions the Greens opposed.
“Every single one of these awful ideas, that you’d think were plot points of a young adult novel destined to fail, are our real-life descent into dystopia and are now law.”
Act’s David Seymour addressed claims of instability in the coalition, including between him and Peters.
“Hear this one simple fact: this Government has passed more legislation in the first two years of its three than any MMP Parliament has passed in its whole three years. That’s pretty productive.”
He went through each of his Act MPs, making comments on their attributes. That included Mark Cameron, who is waiting for a kidney transplant.
“As we speak today, he’s in isolation so he doesn’t take on any infection before he is able to have a kidney transplant out of a pool to which his wife is donating so he can benefit.
“Our thoughts are with you, brother, and even from your sick bed, you are able through social media to be the authentic voice of rural New Zealand in a way that I don’t know anyone else could.”
NZ First leader Peters said at this time in the last parliamentary term that people didn’t believe his party would get into Parliament.
“Today we are here and the question is no longer if we’ll get back, it’s how many seats we will get. We’ve got some news and it’s very good for everyone. We will turn these current polls into confetti.”
He described what he believed were some key attributes of his party.
“We are the only socially conservative party and we’re proud of it. We are the only nationalist party with a nationalist with a capital N. We are the only patriotic party, a word that is so often judged and criticised. We stand proud to be patriots of a country called New Zealand.”
Debbie Ngarewa-Packer of Te Pāti Māori referenced her party’s internal dramas on various occasions.
She said there had been “a lot of noise out in the world”.
“There’s a lot of noise in this House, and there’s a lot of noise out in our communities. Whether or not we agree with the noise, it’s for us a time also to reflect.
“It has been a tough year. It’s been a tough year, specifically for our communities who spent, this time last year getting ready for submissions and being able to impress, through a very, very indifferent process, what it is that they felt about Te Tiriti.”