New Zealand’s leaders today are not averse to a sonnet, haiku or limerick — or even a few lines of doggerel.
Poets, wrote Percy Bysshe Shelley in 1821, "are the unacknowledged legislators of the world".
"You would say that," legislators have harrumphed ever since. "You're a bloody poet. Why don't you get a real job? And what kind of a name is Percy?"
Still, politicians and verse unquestionably remain intimate bedfellows.Dog-eared, tear-stained screeds of torment and glory and misunderstood genius are to be found in the archives of pretty much every political giant, according to insiders.
Most recently in New Zealand, the tellingly alliterative outgoing and outgoing leader of the Conservative Party, Colin Craig, was reported to be a bit of a bard. The man, this much is clear, has lyric in his soul.
Anyway, with apologies to pretty much everyone, here is a selection of stanzas stolen from under the mattresses of New Zealand politicians. (Obligatory note to lawyers and online commenters: they are not stolen, I made them up. Mostly.)
Coup Detective by Colin Craig There is only one of me it's true
And quardle-oodle this is clearly the fault of the last Labour government, the hardworking Kiwis say.
Sonnet to John by Bill English
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
No. And I'll tell you why.
1.1 Thee is a human being and the Prime Minister of New Zealand, the elected leader of the largest party in government, the National Party.
1.2 A summer's day is a unit of 24 hours, typically understood to last from one midnight to the next, occurring in summer, the warmest of the seasons, typically understood in New Zealand to span the months December, January and February.
