Mr Sexy too slippery for Labour leader

The Speaker had warned very early on in Question Time that "someone will be taking an early shower", so great was the level of interjection.

By the end a cold shower may well have been more in order.

The subjects causing the furore were a waterbed and the Prime Minister - freshly crowned the sexiest politician in a Durex condom survey - who was still frantically trying to sidestep his way out of his pre-election utterances that he would not increase GST.

Labour leader Phil Goff confronted John Key variously with a Radio Dunedin report in which he had said he would not raise GST, a Newstalk ZB report in which he said he would raise GST and a Radio NZ report in which he said he might not raise it. Was it yes, no or maybe?

Mr Key dismissed all three as inaccurate interpretations of what he had actually said. Then he added that his position was "black and white".

"The Government is seriously considering a move to increase GST to 15 per cent."

Mr Goff was not done - he had a further multi-choice quiz for Mr Key, asking which of three options had the most credibility: his promise not to raise GST, his promise to raise GST but it would be fair to all, or "having been caught out in a conflict of interest on his TranzRail shares, his promise to sell his mining and uranium shares?"

The Prime Minister answered with option D.

"Well, let us sort one thing out. No one thinks Phil Goff is sexy anyway."

But Mr Key's newfound status was not lost on one of his coalition support partners.

Next batter up for Labour was Parekura Horomia on the Maori Party's whanau ora policy. He wanted to know whether Maori Party co-leader Tariana Turia agreed with the Prime Minister's metaphor of whanau ora as "a bit like a waterbed" where "if you push down on one side, if you don't address the problems, it's going to rise on the other side".

Mrs Turia - rapidly slimming down since her stomach stapling - took aim at the less sylph-like form of Mr Horomia.

"I am hoping that the bed has just the Prime Minister in it and not the member who asked the question."

There was a pause as rather unwanted visual images flickered into the minds of the MPs.

Then a roar of laughter and the Speaker stood to tell her that was no answer to the question. She stood again with an answer so blatantly untrue that it got even more laughter.

"Of course, I always agree with what the Prime Minister says."

Finally it was back to the Prime Minister for the last question - this time about his holding of shares in Jackson Mining.

Asked how he could not have known the company had merged with another and was now involved in uranium mining, he began with: "There was the small technical issue - I have been busy running the country."

He added that he would be the first to admit it was "sloppy" but said the last time he had looked they were trading at 3.5c "and when I offered them to my son, who was 12 at the time, even he did not want them".