Act leader David Seymour announced he would be a good husband, Simon Bridges took up the cudgels for the Wiggles, and which National MP has grown a beard over the summer break?
He would do anything for love:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single MP in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Poor old Act leader David Seymour is being mocked by those without any romantic bones for his Meatloaf-esque declaration on the cover of a women's magazine that he would do anything for love: "I could give it all up for love," the cover of the NZ Woman's Weekly had him saying.
By way of assisting his cause, the article inside was basically an extended Tinder profile – highlighting his baking skills, his love of puppies, and pushing his willingness to be an at-home dad. "I'd be the perfect husband," Seymour announced modestly.
But Seymour was back at it like a bat out of hell this week, issuing press releases questioning why New Zealand was not getting vaccines sooner, and whether the Government was being transparent about the reasons why.
He had a go about gun crimes, and then took aim at renewed calls for a capital gains tax. Then he had a go at new rules relating to food at early childhood centres.
It all led people to the conclusion Seymour had not yet found paradise by the dashboard lights.
Australian PM Scott Morrison was clearly concerned Jacinda Ardern thought he was pulling the old "sorry, you're breaking up" trick when the pair had a catch-up on the phone this week.
Ardern posted on Facebook that after a few disconnections, Morrison sent her a photo of himself in a car, talking on the phone with a sweeping desert landscape outside the window. It was by way of proving he actually was in the outback and the reception was indeed dodgy.
Wiggle your way out of this one:
(I apologise in advance).
National Party MP Simon Bridges launched his year with a crusade to save the Wiggles' concert tour in March.
It proved to be a bit more of a hot potato than he imagined.
The Australian children's music group emailed him for help after discovering they could not book slots in managed isolation/quarantine before their planned tour. It had made the prospect of the tour as wobbly as jelly on a plate.
Bridges sent a letter, and then tweeted about it.
The big red car had little sympathy: Labour's Jacinda Ardern pointed out concert promoters should perhaps sort out visas and MIQ bookings before selling tickets. Perhaps Neve is more a Peppa Pig aficionado.
It is as yet uncertain whether the wheels on the Wiggles' bus will go round in New Zealand. The reason the Wiggles went to Bridges for help is also uncertain: Perhaps they simply believed in the power of their own song, Simon Says.
Crouching Tiger, Bearded MP:
Beehive Diaries' hopes that Bridges would return from the summer break with a beard were in vain.
But word reached us that another MP has indeed grown a beard: Paul Goldsmith.
A photo is yet to be provided for publication: Goldsmith was pretending to be shy.
It has been judged as "itchy" but will hopefully still be in situ when National MPs meet for their annual caucus retreat in the lead-up to Waitangi Day.