Finance Minister Grant Robertson speaks to the media ahead of the new budget. Video / Marty Melville
National leader Christopher Luxon learned the hard way the perils of being photographed with anyone who has ever worn an All Blacks jersey - a lesson his mentor Sir John Key learned with his photo with All Black Sam Whitelock.
Luxon’s snap of himself and Richie McCaw ahead of thecoronation of King Charles III showed the tall, statuesque McCaw looking very distinguished in a well-fitted morning suit, and a beaming Luxon looking … um … comparatively less so.
National’s deputy leader Nicola Willis clearly took great delight in it, reposting the photo with the question “who wore it better?” - knowing full well there was only one answer and others would not hesitate to point it out. Even Luxon knew the answer, posting “I think Richie wore it better.”
There were a few generous souls who suggested the reason Luxon looked a bit like a penguin wearing a giraffe’s trousers was due to the camera angle. Others compared Luxon to Thomas the Tank Engine or asked if he had borrowed McCaw’s spare trousers.
Suffice it to say, Luxon looked a lot better in a later photo he posted of himself with British politician Michael Gove.
Willis has gone to great lengths in her valiant attempts to wheedle Budget hints out of Finance Minister Grant Robertson. She interrogated him on whether Hipkins’ rule-out of “major tax changes” meant more modest tax changes might be in line.
“Can he confirm that there will be tax reductions in the Budget – he’s just hoping an element of surprise will make up for their small size?”
It wasn’t until Government MPs started howling with laughter that she realised the double entendre.
The banned words of Budget 2023
Every Budget week, the Finance Minister’s office rules supreme. That means every other minister and their staff must abide by a list of Banned Words compiled by Robertson’s press secretary.
It is a living list, added to every time a politician or staffer utters a jargonistic atrocity.
Some of the newer horrors include parameterised, derecognise, disconflicted and – a personal favourite – self-evacuate.
Other highlights include “offramps and onramps (unless talking about motorways)” and “pipelines (unless talking about an ACTUAL PIPE.”) Takeaways can only be used if talking about fish and chips.
Some of former PM Jacinda Ardern’s words have made it onto the list – including the most banned word of all (“learnings”) and “double duty.”
However, the recent reshuffles meant not all ministers got the memo. Brand new minister Rachel Brooking was a serial offender on Wednesday in Parliament’s general debate, using “double duty” four times in quick succession. She was duly narked on by Beehive Diaries and presumably is now at risk of being dispatched back to double duties on the backbench.
Chris of the Week
A fairly close contest this week – Chris Luxon engaged in political showmanship by ruling out any governing arrangement with Te Pāti Māori, saying Te Pāti Māori of today was not the same as in 2008 when National did invite the party into its government, despite not needing its votes.
It was good politics in terms of the intended effect: it will please a fair chunk of the National base and may even attract a few more. However, it was not exactly noble politics. Luxon’s reluctance to take further questions on it later in the day indicated that he knew that.
It also highlighted that the National Party of today was also not the same as it was in 2008.
Hipkins had a low-key week, arriving back from London and heading straight into Cabinet before a pre-Budget announcement to boost defence staff salaries – a bid to address the problem with attrition in the armed forces.
However, his week ended with two polls showing his early momentum had been halted and Labour had slipped. The MPs creating distractions and National’s attacks on Labour’s ambiguous positioning on tax were taking their toll.
However, there is one deciding factor: Luxon has been known to use the word “learnings” whereas Hipkins has voiced a dislike of it.
So Chris of the Week goes to Chris Hipkins.
Last words
In a week in which far too many MPs grandstanded and accused others of grandstanding, the last word goes to Green Party co-leader James Shaw for his disdain of it all.
“The idea that New Zealanders are interested in this Punch and Judy show and are more interested in the game of politics than they are in what’s happened to their flood-damaged properties or to the lives of their children or to the stress that our front-line responders are under—I’m actually appalled at the myopia and the desperation to win .... it absolutely appals me.”
