Ernest Hemingway wrote, "Write when you are drunk, edit when you are sober." It is important to have suitable literary role models. I have always been partial to a tipple. However, when it comes to the causation between intoxication and literary skills, the law of diminishing returns certainly applies.
I used to sit in the smokers' section on aircraft because I felt less self-conscious about raising my hand for an extra complimentary drink. There was always a sea of hands, because smokers tend to be boozers. Maybe it is the terminal nature of their tobacco addiction that invites a more hedonistic approach to life.
It is this lengthy career as a seasoned consumer of alcoholic beverages in a variety of seedy alehouses that gives me a degree of insight into the proposed local alcohol policy for Auckland City. Poorly conceived social and economic policies usually have a story behind them.
I commenced my drinking career at the time when 11 o'clock closing applied to most drinking establishments. This policy meant that just after 11pm, the city streets became a rolling maul of drunken yobs unleashed on the streets at the same time. Many had turbocharged their drinking before closing time.
The effects would hit them when they emerged into the crisp evening. People fought over taxis and in bus queues. A misconstrued comment or sideways glance at a fast-food outlet on the way home could erupt into a brawl. The streets were full of unguided Exocet missiles all firing at the same time. It was safest to stay off the roads and pavements during this window of mayhem.
