Paula Bennett: Why it’s hard to be a white guy in NZ at the moment

Mental health issues are real and they affect so many and don’t discriminate. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

How hard is it to be a white guy in New Zealand at the moment? Particularly a middle-aged or older white guy who feels he is just told he is wrong in everything he is, everything he does and particularly everything he says. You’re way down the priority list for health as we have heard this week.

He can’t stick up for himself or others, he will be seen as patronising and using his “privilege” to put others down. But I worry about them. I also worry about the message it is sending our younger white guys who hear and see it on a daily basis and wonder what their future looks like.

So many men are now hesitant, apologetic and then disillusioned as they try and navigate the dramatic changes in gender politics. Most of the change I might say is for the good. Women are better represented than ever before but still have a way to go in a lot of areas. Our LGBTQ+ people are standing up and being heard and demanding space and acceptance like they never have before, and rightly so.

I am the first to stand up for gender equality and the acceptance and understanding of our LGBTQ+ people at every opportunity. I just don’t believe that we have to raise some by bringing others down. It is what happened in the past to women and LGTBQ+ and we should learn by that and not do the reverse by knocking our white guys down every chance we get.

If we really believe in diversity, if we want to see minorities and women getting equal opportunity, then we need to find acceptance across the board and find a new normal in working together. Mental health issues are real and they affect so many and they don’t discriminate based on gender or ethnicity. We all either have, or at risk of having issues. It seems like a white guy needs to apologise for his “privilege” and being who he is before he can even think about asking for help. And most don’t ask for help because they don’t think they need it or deserve it.

The constant blatant and covert messaging to our white guys is that they don’t have a place in society anymore and are seen as Male, Pale and Stale. Many say they are too scared to speak out and have an opinion anymore. They feel irrelevant. Imagine being a teen or in your 20s and hearing that message repeatedly said about your father or people you look up to.

We need change. We need to be constantly evolving and improving our gender relations but let’s do it in a way that is respectful and understanding. Let’s acknowledge that our collective differences are what, as a whole, give us our diversity and advantage as a nation.

Paula Bennett is a former Deputy Prime Minister and National Party politician who now works at Bayleys Real Estate as national director-customer engagement.