Paula Bennett: Falling through a stage this week was a live example of how to bounce back

Paula Bennett has learnt how to bounce back by couching her inner voice to be positive and not negative. Photo / 123rf

OPINION

This week I literally bounced. I call my resilience bounce. When life has sent me a blow or I am too much in my own head, it is the ability to bounce back that gets me through.

I was a keynote speaker for a corporate. Had only been on stage for a few minutes and, in my energetic, adrenalin-pumping way, went to fast-walk to the other side of the stage to engage the audience I couldn’t see due to a pillar - and I fell through the stage.

Legs in the air, my whole body through a hole that was in the stage around the pillar. Down I went, to gasps from the audience. After a quick analysis in my head that I was not hurt, I bounced back.

Ironically, it worked well. I was speaking on adapting to change and building resilience. Nothing like a live example.

This week for my podcast Ask Me Anything I interviewed Dr Michelle Cox and Maia Jackman about their book, Murdering Middle Age: surviving and thriving in midlife. Former Football Ferns, these two awesome women write about resilience and how to cope with changes in midlife. Check it out, it’s an easy read with great tips.

Like most, I have had my share of tragedies and life’s ups and downs. Losing a brother and my best friend in accidents when I was only 22 years old was without a doubt my biggest lesson on how to work through grief and get back up again.

It is being in the public eye and being a bit of a polarising personality that has taught me my biggest lessons. I worked out you don’t die of embarrassment. Sometimes it just feels like you might and just putting one foot in front of the other and keeping moving will mean that it will pass.

I learnt that you can’t personalise other people’s opinions and sometimes their hate. They have their own stuff going on and I don’t have to take it on board. I learnt that you can couch your inner voice to be positive and not negative. It takes work and now, instead of sinking, I can see the signs and head it off earlier. I can bounce.

I have learnt to kick Mildred to the curb. She is the nasty voice on my shoulder that nags and doubts me. I have no room for Mildred, so I send her packing quick-smart.

I have also learnt thanks to people like Sir John Kirwan and Mike King and reinforced in Michelle and Maia’s book that it’s okay to not always be okay. Sometimes you just need to find space and reach out to your mum or daughter or husband or best friend and just breath through it.

I have learnt to count my blessings. For example, I am very grateful I was in a pants suit and sneakers when I fell through the stage, as I think a dress and heels would have led to a level of humiliation that may have made my bounce a little slower. I hope you bounce.

Paula Bennett is a former Deputy Prime Minister and National Party politician who now works at Bayleys Real Estate as national director-customer engagement.