The ministry said schools were resourced to support and include all students and there are additional services and supports available via the Ministry and other special education areas, such as Resource Teachers: Learning and Behaviour (RTLB), which contribute.
Mum Michéle Theron-Jansen said she and her husband and I have been paying for almost 8 years for extra tuition and help for their 13-year-old son.
"This has cost us an average of $12,500 per year or just short of $100,000 over the eight years. My son would never have had this sort of help through the school system or from government," she said.
Lynne Tanner wrote during times when her daughter didn't qualify for funding, they also spend $100,000 providing a teacher aide " so she could participate at school and be a happy child".
"Last year, despite ORRS my husband was called in almost every day because the school couldn't manage her... We try to not be angry and bitter about our lot, we try to stay positive and optimistic. Some weeks we do better at that than others."
Many parents did not want to be identified, fearing it would get them off-side with schools or the government. One wrote of her struggles saying, despite their hardship, they were better off than a friend, who spent "thousands on a teacher aide for her son".
"He has autism, ADHD and is developmentally delayed yet still didn't qualify for ORS. I love the Ministry saying they don't support this - what else was she supposed to do?!"
Kerry Warnock said: "Our daughter was diagnosed with classic autism, cerebral palsy and developmental delay. We were told she was intellectually impaired and would probably never learn to talk.
14 years later, and she has made significant progress. She attends a local high school and is doing well academically. She plays the cello, swims and loves maths, music and foreign languages. This has taken many years of hard work, a decade of home schooling and almost $100,000 in private therapy.
It galls me to think that so many children in New Zealand are being doomed to a life on welfare or in an institution because the Ministries of Health and Education are too cheap to spend money where it counts."
Many others wrote in saying how without teacher aide funding, their children were asked to leave schools.
"Our child is seen as a problem. He can't go for the whole day, because there's not enough support.It's against the law and discrimination," one mum said. "Our school has to top up his funding - I've never been asked to pay money. but have been told many times how much he is costing."
Another parent wrote: "When the teacher aide was sick it was assumed I would take him home. I would say 'he's legally entitled to be there'. Lucky I know the law."
Parents said they understood it was hard for boards to spend the extra money on just one child, and put them in unnecessary conflict.
However, some said it was disappointing to see how adults responded to children not perceived as "normal".
"The attitude is, 'your child isn't going to amount to anything so why should we waste the money'", one mum said. "It's awful.".
A Herald investigation into special education services has found the parents' individual struggles are part of a much wider issue, and will continue to focus on special education this week.
