Paige Suisted has less than 18 months to live, but no one would be able to tell from her smile and energy.
The 26-year-old Hamilton resident was diagnosed with a terminal, stage-four brain cancer - astrocytoma - on October 11 this year.
Since that Friday, Paige has been consciously living her life to the fullest.
“I can’t be fixed. I’m never going to be okay,” Paige told the Herald.
“So everything I do, I’m just trying to make memories.”
Paige will not be at her siblings’ weddings, or have children of her own
But she does know what she wants from the time she has left.
“I want to be remembered for something good,” she said.
Paige believes sharing her cancer journey is something good.
“It’s my story. No matter what, this is what I’m going through,” Paige said.
“I’m not airing it to get sympathy. I’m airing it to show people what it’s like.
“I hope they can see that it’s not the end.”
Seven months ago, Paige felt like life was just getting started.
After growing up in Cambridge, Paige had moved to a flat in Hamilton and was working at a jewellery store. She had modelled for Thin Lizzy and appeared as a background extra in Netflix shows. She was experimenting with different art forms.
“My hobbies are a lot. I love painting. I do clay work, sketching.”
It was April when Paige first noticed something was wrong.
“My fingers were getting really numb,” Paige said.
Within a week, the numbness had spread to her whole right arm until Paige couldn’t bend her fingers.
Paige said she made appointments with six doctors in Hamilton and Cambridge over the next two-and-a-half months.
“I reached out because I needed help.”
During that time, Paige felt no one was taking her seriously.
“I struggle with depression and anxiety,” Paige said.
“I don’t know if they looked at me like, ‘You’re making this up. You’re 26 years old. You just want time off work‘.”
Meanwhile, Paige said her symptoms were getting worse.
“I just had no control in my arm. I couldn’t lift anything.”
Finally, in July, Paige called an ambulance for herself.
“I woke up one morning and I got a bit dizzy and I couldn’t really think straight. I just felt weird.”
At Waikato Hospital, Paige said she looked a nurse in the eye and begged for help.
“No one is listening to me,” Paige remembered saying.
“I need someone to tell me what’s going on.”
Paige went through an MRI and CT scan before she was released.
A couple of days later, the hospital called and told Paige she would need to come back and be admitted for two weeks.
The MRI had found something in Paige’s brain.
“While I was walking up with my mum to hospital, I remember looking at her and telling her, ‘There’s something wrong with my leg‘.”
The numbness had begun to spread down the right side of Paige’s body.
Paige went through a biopsy procedure on September 13.
Less than a week later, her mother, Rachel Raven, got a call from the hospital with the initial results.
“I went into the office and I literally just bawled,” Rachel said.
“Why her? Why the most beautiful person inside and out?”
When Paige’s parents came home from work, she was sitting in bed.
“They were both bawling their eyes out. They said, ‘Paige, you have stage three brain cancer’.”
Those were the hardest words Rachel had ever said.
“She just screamed and screamed and screamed. We were all just screaming. We didn’t know what to do.”
Then, two weeks later, more results came back from the oncologist.
Paige, Rachel and their family met with him at the hospital.
“He sat down with us and he told us that Paige actually had stage four, terminal brain cancer,” Rachel said.
“The tears were insane.”
When the oncologist said Paige had less than 18 months to live, Rachel’s world “shattered”.
“I want her to feel fulfilled. I want her to have forever,” Rachel said.
“I can’t bury my daughter. I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that.”
Paige said when she received the first diagnosis she thought she would have more time.
The second diagnosis of stage four astrocytoma was a “low blow”.
“Terminal brain cancer, that’s not something that can be fixed,” Paige said.
Paige said the realisation that she would never be a mother broke her heart.
“I’m never gonna have kids. I’ve always, always wanted a family.”
She said it angered her to think the cancer could have been found sooner.
“That’s a bitter pill to swallow,” Paige said.
“I asked. I did all of the things I should have done. I was crying out for help.”
Paige said she hoped sharing her story would give others the opportunity to get the help they need.
“When someone’s crying out for help, especially if it’s a medical problem, you should be heard.
“You shouldn’t be brushed off. It’s your health. It’s life and death sometimes.”
Paige said for days after her diagnosis she “just didn’t care”.
“I was crying every day. I was sad every day. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want to take care of myself.”
But eventually, she realised she didn’t want to dwell on it.
“It definitely wasn’t overnight,” Paige said.
“Don’t get me wrong. I do cry sometimes. You just can’t help it. But having a positive attitude changes your mindset on a lot of things.”
Rachel said she couldn’t begin to understand where her daughter’s strength came from.
“I’m very proud of her not missing a beat with appointments and pill taking,” Rachel said.
“It’s brave to be able to walk around the streets [with] the baldness showing.
“She’s not afraid. It’s just unbelievable.”
Rachel said Paige’s positive attitude made her family stronger.
“Her strength rubs off not just on me. It rubs off on everyone.”
“Paige said to me, ‘The world’s toughest battles go to the world’s toughest soldiers’. She’s one of the world’s toughest soldiers.”
“When this journey first started, I made a pact with her and I said that she will never do this on her own,” Rachel said.
Paige has 15-minute radiation treatment sessions at Waikato Hospital five days a week. She takes chemotherapy pills every day. Paige also undergoes weekly blood tests and a monthly antibiotic infusion that takes several hours.
“My day is home, her house, hospital, her house, home. The only thing I’m not doing is the radiation and the chemotherapy,” Rachel said.
“It’s tough because I haven’t been able to be the best mum for the other two kids because everything is focused on Paige.
“And that’s just the way it has to be at the moment, I think.”
Small, daily tasks cause Paige the most frustration.
“I’m a very independent person, I always have been. So I try to do it all on my own,” Paige said.
“But I’ve lost my whole right side of my body. I can’t walk very far. I can’t feel my toes. I can’t feel my arm.
“I can’t drive. I’m probably never going to drive again.”
Paige said little things like getting changed, walking up or down stairs and doing her hair and makeup, were “very tough”.
She wears a brace on her leg 24/7 and her flat is littered with medical alarms. The hospital bag on the floor never gets unpacked.
“I’ve had to buy certain shoes because I can’t do my shoelaces. I have to buy certain bras just to be comfortable, be easier on myself.”
Through it all, Rachel said, Paige has always tried to keep the smile on her face.
“We try to have as many laughs as we can as well,” Rachel said.
“Playing music and being idiots and dancing. Most weekends, we try and fill with activities.”
Paige said she can’t fit everything she wants to do into one year but she wants to focus on making memories.
“There’s a lot. I want to go skydiving. I want to go to places like Greece. I want to meet Mad Mike.
“But seeing the Eiffel Tower, that’s my main one.”
Image 1 of 9: Despite a terminal brain cancer diagnosis, Paige Suisted is determined to live life to the full. Photo / Mike Scott
In November, Paige’s aunt started a Givealittle page to help her niece tick off the items on her bucket list.
“It gives me a little bit more hope,” Paige said.
“If people can help then it means I can financially be able to do it.”
Paige said sharing her experiences with cancer and treatment through Instagram was also a source of hope.
“You have bad days, you have good days. There’s sad days, there’s happy days,” Paige said.
“I have posted videos, photos of what it’s like. It helps me help others.
“I love to help people. I just don’t want to leave this earth not helping. I want to be remembered for something good.”
Maryana Garcia is a Hamilton-based reporter covering breaking news in Waikato. She previously wrote for the Rotorua Daily Post and Bay of Plenty Times.