OPINION: Facebook now a double edged modern sword

BLESSING AND CURSE: Facebook makes it easy to maintain our relationships - and easy to sever them.

Oh, Facebook. What a nice little double-edged sword you turned out to be.

I've had a Facebook account for nearly a decade, and it has its good points. Once you wade through the endless "inspirational" posts, snarky quips about grammar and Minions, it's a handy source of world events and, if one is a reporter, a treasure trove of story ideas.

Recently, I've been thinking about the phenomenon of "unfriending" via Facebook -- when a member of your personal network removes you from their list of contacts.

So ingrained has Facebook become in the modern lexicon that, in 2009, "unfriend" was named Word of the Year by the New Oxford American Dictionary.

Throughout my social media career, I have both unfriended and been unfriended. Recently, I have been removed by several people following a difference of opinion on hot-button issues.

That stings, somewhat.

In 2014, the University of Colorado Denver conducted research into the act of unfriending via Facebook.

The studies published found people were most likely to unfriend others who shared polarising political or religious views, or if they found their posts uninteresting.

Respondents' reactions to being unfriended ranged from shock, to discomfort, to visceral sadness.

I think part of the reason being defriended hurts is because we have become so reliant on social media to maintain our relationships.

Many facets on our lives are conducted on Facebook. Businesses are opting for a Facebook page over a website. News outlets use it to publish their lead stories. We make a "Facebook event" to organise a birthday party, or even a wedding, where once we sent invites in the post. We use it to show off travel photos, announce our engagements, update family on our kids' milestones.

And we use Facebook to keep in touch with friends, particularly those who live in different parts of the country or overseas. These days, many of us find ourselves either too broke for long distance calling, or too exhausted to write an email. So we make a Facebook post, and our mates all over the world know what we're up to.

But when we become dependent on the internet to keep our friendships afloat, it makes it all the more real they are ended online. If our connections are mostly upheld and continued using social media, then being dropped via Facebook tells us the person wants no more do to with us.

In many cases, pixels on a screen is the only contact we have for some people so, without a phone number or address, the connection is lost.

Positive though Facebook can be, the internet is no substitute for a hug from and coffee with a friend. Personally, I need to make it a priority to step away from the computer. Send snail mail letters, take more trips home to Wellington, or simply pick up the phone.

Sometimes, "kicking it old-school" isn't such a bad thing.