One-fifth of couples cheat, survey finds

By ALAN PERROTT

Environmentally conscious, male Maori aged between 40 and 64 are most likely to have affairs, according to a Herald survey, although they are also most unlikely to get away with it.

The Herald-DigiPoll survey of 800 people examined deceit among Kiwi couples, asking whether people had ever embarked on an affair, had they been caught and would they do it again.

Judging by the results, your standard New Zealand bloke is either a little slow on the pickup or likes life on the edge.

One in four men surveyed claimed to have had an affair, and 54 per cent of them said they had been caught out.

Yet 30 per cent said they would still have another affair if the opportunity arose.

They should be taking notes from their sly partners. Only 16 per cent of women surveyed admitted to affairs, but just a quarter of those said their partners found out.

Maybe they were still lying superbly, but fewer than 6 per cent said they would do it again.

The Green Party may have uncrossable policy positions, but fidelity will never be one of them when it comes to their supporters.

More than 45 per cent of Green voters admitted sowing their non-GE, organically grown oats outside of their relationships.

In contrast, not one prim and proper Act voter has apparently had an affair, although to be fair, 6.3 per cent somehow weren't sure.

According to American detective agency All State Investigations, which specialises in matrimonial cases, a cheating spouse exhibits 10 telltale signs:

1. Working a lot of overtime.

2. Excessive use of the internet.

3. Extra mileage on the car odometer.

4. Hiding the cellphone or house phone bill.

5. Saying "It's only your imagination".

6. Receiving hang-up phone calls.

7. No longer interested in sex.

8. No longer wearing a wedding ring.

9. New sexual techniques.

10. Saying "I need my space".

Ric Church, director of Auckland counselling agency Men's Talk, says the problem should be tackled before you need to spy on your partner.

"Most of the time, the people I see have already exited the relationship emotionally before any such act takes place," he says.

"It's about people getting their needs met. Many men are unable to express what those needs are and talk about them. They can't recognise or even name their own feelings and fear that expressing them will take away some of their power."

Mr Church says men do not need to come over all sensitive and new-age to compensate.

He recommends that they start talking openly with their partners about their emotions or develop deeper relationships with male friends where conversations about such issues are possible.