Old-speech mix-up makes a spectacular hattrick for Maestro

Jonathan Coleman. Photo / Mark Mitchell

An embarrassing botch-up for a politician is like a paper cut to a haemophiliac.

It is apparently insignificant but stings like hell and, with a vigorous Opposition prodding at it, takes an eternity to heal.

Broadcasting minister Jonathan Coleman seems dedicated to testing the truth of this.

There was the cigar incident in British American Tobacco's corporate box at the U2 concert in 2006.

There was the mockery after his mentoring of Melissa Lee in her ill-starred Mt Albert byelection run in 2009 - an effort which earned him the nickname Maestro.

This week came the hattrick when, for 10 long minutes, he earnestly read the same speech Revenue Minister Peter Dunne had given on a different bill in 2008.

Worse for poor Mr Coleman, that vigorous Opposition realised the mix-up before he did. He ploughed on while they heckled and roared with laughter.

Yesterday they made the most of his trouble. "Maestro!" they chorused when he stood to ask a question, "are those figures from this year?"

Mr Coleman was not the only one to find the Mt Albert byelection repeating on him yesterday.

Transport Minister Steven Joyce also found himself transported back because where there are byelections there also appears to be controversial roading projects.

The Kapiti Expressway was due to be revealed on November 7, before the November 20 Mana byelection.

As National's candidate Hekia Parata door knocked and delivered pamphlets, Mr Joyce looked at his calendar. Suddenly, abracadabra, the release date was changed until December, conveniently after the Mana byelection.

When Labour's Darren Hughes asked about this, Mr Joyce said, eyes wide with innocence, there was no connection between delaying the roading decision and the byelection.

Instead it was because of "insufficient detail on a section of the road towards the northern end of the alignment".

Such weasel words were not enough for Dr Coleman to get out of his fix. He tried various strategies.

First blame someone else - Peter Dunne whose office had supplied the speech and who had indeed claimed fault for the mix up.

Second, put it in perspective: "Nobody died."

Third, blame the jargon - how is a mere broadcasting minister to tell the difference between the Taxation (International Investment and Remedial Matters) Bill 2010 and the Taxation (International Taxation, Life Insurance, and Remedial Matters) Bill 2008? The mockery continued to flow.

Maestro was a medical doctor in a former life when a modicum of respect had not been so hard to get. Eventually he realised laughing was the only effective remedial matter in this case.