NZ at Noon: Secret Conchords, massacre jokes and the mystery lionman

Flight of the Conchords have landed in Hastings but are lying low before the first show of their sold out NZ tour.

Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include the Flight of the Conchords playing secret squirrels in Hastings, a Rotorua man's supposed joke could see him on a United States terrorist watch list and the nation knew him as Dalu the zookeeper mauled by a tiger - but who was he really?

Amidst tight security and a shroud of secrecy the Flight of the Conchords have touched down in Hastings.

A Rotorua man thought it was a joke posting a message online about going on a shooting spree at a Westfield Mall, but the FBI didn't think it was so funny.

Thousands knew him as Dalu, the zoo keeper killed by a tiger at Northland's Zion Wildlife Garden, but he had three other names and his passport was apparently in his brother's name.

A Rotorua bus driver has apparently slammed the door in the face of a heavily pregnant Rotorua teenager because he was running late and left her standing in the freezing cold.

Wellsford man Ross Ferguson drove all the way to Motueka and back to pick up 4790kg of tobacco which would have netted him about $2 million if Customs hadn't found out about it. Meanwhile should smoking in cars that have children in them be illegal?

Off-duty and enjoying a game of catch with his children in Clive , suddenly Senior Sergeant Luke Shadbolt heard a commotion and a loud "screeching noise" coming from some bushes.

Breaking their employment contracts and, while still employed, setting up an opposition business, taking existing clients and key information with them has cost these Ashburton blokes over $4 million in damages.

Whangarei has experienced a 102 per cent rise in people departing for Australia to look for work. Meanwhile Joel Kingi was pulling in $133 an hour on home detention.

Is the grass really greener in Australia?

Parking wardens are prowling around Hamilton malls.

Gunned down by a high powered rifle with a colleague dead, another wounded, Senior Constable Bruce Miller was quickly losing blood.

It was remarkable these idiots didn't electrocute themselves. To contrast, here's a random act of kindness.

Anti-fracking fanatics in Hawke's Bay have been cheering on the frack-free status of Hastings on the council's Facebook page, but there's a slight hitch. Meanwhile in Gisborne the council has been trying to explain to locals that if a fracking application arrives, it must process it.

But if you are keen to do some oil exploration, three areas off the Wairarapa coast are now open for bidding.

C'mon all you blokes, go to the doctor for a check up.

Here's some great photos from this year's regional Stage Challenge competition in Rotorua.

Returning to Wanganui, Special Olympian Judith Bradley broke down in tears when she learned thieves struck while she was away.

Nearly 300 giant wind turbines will soon begin sprouting up on Castle Hill in the Wairarapa.

The US Marine Forces Pacific band has been playing hits from the 1940's in Masterton. Seventy years ago, this Marine found love in Masterton.

A gnome has allegedly been involved in a violent and brutal attack in Christchurch.

This is what some people are doing to keep warm in Christchurch.

Tama Meager from Ashburton will be the envy of every rugby loving seven year old in the country on Saturday.

Children is Mid Canterbury are wandering to school in snow and hard frosts with barely any clothes on.

In Balclutha, 700 mourners were farewelling their friend and loved one when an intoxicated Stephen John Hurring started shouting abuse towards the dead person and yelling vulgarities.

Minister of Health Tony Ryall has been given a telling off for refusing to release official information.

Two men who "weren't too bright" have been arrested after allegedly stealing petrol from an Oamaru farm.

Meanwhile Greymouth has became the first town in the South Island to gain 'motorhome friendly' status.

Top trending items on Twitter in NZ at noon were #askmaz, #fieldays, #LiesIToldMyParents, Ralph Stewart, SkyCity, ACC, Auckland, #Ask1D, #NSW, and #JustSaying.