Frantic, she phoned her daughter’s school friend and ended up on the line with his dad. She claimed he told her he knew where the teen was as he said, “She’s on the way to me”.
Sarah believed the man, who met the teen through his son, had paid for her flight.
She abruptly ended the call and urgently contacted family members, pleading with them to rush to Auckland Airport to intercept the teen.
They found her daughter, who willingly went with her family.
Sarah said the family was devastated that their daughter, who they love so much, had been manipulated “right under our nose”.
Over time months of text messages between the man and the teen, then 15, were unveiled. Sarah claimed the man promised her daughter a heated pool at his home and even said he was building her a downstairs room.
“I asked her to describe him and she told me she thought he was kind and caring,” Sarah said. “It’s sick, absolutely sick.”
She claimed the man had told separate authorities she and her husband were abusing their daughter - later dispelled by Oranga Tamariki and police. He had allegedly even contacted her daughter’s school to request a welfare check and have himself listed as the sole caregiver.
Sarah and her husband were “horrified” to learn of his actions and claimed no one from the school had contacted them, leaving them feeling “let down”.
She said the secret flight was planned for the week of the girl’s 16th birthday as she was of legal age to leave home. However, Cyclone Gabrielle delayed their scheme.
Sarah took the disturbing revelations to police, who told her she needed to collect evidence to build a case as legally the man had done nothing wrong as there was no sexual content or proof of sexual intent.
Sarah was gobsmacked that a 50-year-old man could text a 15-year-old girl with an alleged plan to lure her away from her family, and not be charged: “The law needs to be changed.”
University of Auckland law academic Professor Mark Henaghan said grooming was a “difficult one” when it came to taking legal action.
“Because it can look on one surface quite innocent but if there isn’t intervention it can be too late.”
During submissions for the Crimes (Child Exploitation Offences) Amendment Bill, child advocacy groups criticised legislation surrounding child protection for not going far enough to reflect the complexity of grooming and how it occurs.
Because by definition the offence must be connected to sexual conduct or intent police have no records of any sexual grooming, Kirby said.
“Over the last four years [New Zealand] Police have recorded around 50 incidents which have involved sexual grooming.”
Henaghan said prosecuting a person accused of grooming was a costly business as it had to be proved beyond a reasonable doubt which was “quite a tough standard” in criminal law.
“If they had been asked to send inappropriate photos then it would be a lot easier but if they’re making sure there’s no references to sexual matters and just promising other things then it’s a bit trickier to say they are grooming the child for sexual activity.”
Sarah said her only option to prevent the man from having any contact with her daughter was a restraining order but that was going to cost too much.
Henaghan said a restraining order could be sought privately under the Harassment Act, which costs, or publicly through Oranga Tamariki which would be paid for by the state.
The order is possible under the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989 if a young person is in need of care or protection, he explained.
“The Oranga Tamariki Act is there to protect all young people who are in need of care and protection and they’re meant to investigate it and look at all the details then decide yes we’re going to get a restraining order.”
Henaghan said any contact is considered a criminal offence.
Kirby encouraged parents and caregivers worried their child was being groomed to first speak to their child and ask to read any communication between them and the person involved.
“Then if they are still concerned, they can contact the police or the police child protection team. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to police then they should contact Netsafe... each circumstance is different so it may be helpful to seek help from this free service.”
Where to get help?
If it’s an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
Contact your local police station - click here for a list.
Netsafe - 0508 NETSAFE (0508 638 723)
Oranga Tamariki - 0508 326 459
Karina Cooper is deputy news director and covers breaking and general news for the Advocate. She also has a special interest in investigating what is behind the headlines and getting to heart of a story.
