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The only men's refuge in the country has closed because of illness but its founders believe there is still a need for it.
The Separated Fathers Support Trust ran the four-bedroom refuge, officially a men's "retreat house", in Manurewa from December 2002 until May, when the manager, Warren
Heap, became paralysed with the rare nerve disorder Guillain-Barre Syndrome.
Heap says the refuge was always full, and for a while had a caravan as well. In all, 51 men and 71 of their children stayed in the house for up to three months. Some of the men were escaping physical abuse, in a way comparable to women's refuges. One had knife wounds "all up his arms", inflicted by a partner who was a drug addict. "There were quite a few that were knifed," Heap says. "It's my belief that a lot of women, because physically they are not as strong as men, tend to use weapons." But in most cases there was blame on both sides, he says. "I would say they were equally abusing each other."
Heap, 56, is a former builder and flower trader. He saw the need for a men's retreat when his first marriage broke up in 1984 and he found there was nowhere for a man to get personal and legal support.
He formed the trust in 1998 and opened a support house in Glen Eden. However, he could get neither state funding nor permission to put up posters at the Family Court. That support house closed 16 months later.
But four years later, in Manurewa, he found the mood had changed. He still couldn't get state funding but he kept the new house running with money from lottery grants, Sky City, ASB Trust, Lion Foundation, Pub Charity and the like. This time he was allowed to distribute flyers.
He accepted men who needed refuge from abuse or support after a separation. They had to be fathers, and he says the main need the house filled was as a safe place where judges were willing to allow men to have access to their children. "Because of their low-income bracket - about 85 per cent of them were beneficiaries - they had a lack of resources and got into debt.
"We did get some men that came from caravan parks. They needed it because a caravan park was not a suitable place to take children at weekends."
Heap required all men who came to be assessed by Manukau's Friendship House, which provided anger management courses, budget advice and other support.
He had calls from throughout New Zealand and Australia from agencies looking for similar housing.
Despite his illness, Heap hopes a house can be reopened in Auckland. He thinks each major city needs one.
Fathers' activist Jim Bagnall, who chairs the trust, believes men's refuges should be funded by the Government.