Nigel Latta left his wife Natalie Flynn a love letter before his death, asking her to “promise to find joy”.
The high-profile psychologist and broadcaster died yesterday after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer last September.
The 58-year-old and his wife went to see his oncologist last Wednesday and were told Latta’s body couldn’t take any more treatment, friend Bridgette Tapsell, a bridesmaid at the couple’s 2023 wedding, said.
“He arrived at the appointment optimistic, but pivoted to accepting the news immediately”, Tapsell, who spoke to the Herald on behalf of Flynn, said.
“He was so brave. The whole way through his battle with cancer, he made it easy for everybody. He told Natalie, ‘I’ve had the most wonderful life, I’m happy and I’m at peace’.
“He left Natalie a love letter – in it he asked her to promise to find joy."
Latta was cared for in his final days at Mercy Hospice and died with Flynn, his children and his best friend Ian in the room.
“They were absolutely amazing – every person there”, Flynn, speaking to the Herald via Tapsell, said.
Of the response to his death, from Prime Minister Christopher Luxon to regular Kiwis, Flynn said: “I feel like Aotearoa is giving Nigel a huge hug.”
Tapsell said her friends were devoted to each other and “together they fought his cancer with aroha and humour”.
“Natalie is very quick-witted, she has the ability to find humour in the darkest of moments and she helped him laugh during the tough times.
“Aotearoa has lost a great compassionate leader who cared deeply about people. Ko ia ko aroha, ko aroha ko ia/He was love and love was him.”
Earlier, Flynn told the Herald her husband “was incredible throughout the last 16 months, using his signature warmth and kindness to carry everyone through”.
She broke the news of his death on social media this morning, writing he fought the cancer with “enormous bravery”.
“Farewell my great love. You were never dying, just living until the moment you weren’t.
“On Tuesday the 30th of September, Nigel passed away with the same dignity and positivity that he carried through life.
“He will be dearly missed by his wife Natalie, daughter Rina, son Kieran, and three stepchildren Elijah, Maya and Leon.”
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon this morning wrote that he was deeply saddened to learn of Latta’s death.
“Like so many Kiwis, Amanda and I read his books on parenting when our kids were younger.
“He had a remarkable ability to connect with people through his writing and broadcasting with empathy, humour, and insight.
“Our thoughts are with his family and all who knew and loved him.”
In September 2024, Latta shared a video on social media revealing doctors had discovered an “inoperable” tumour in his stomach, explaining how he reacted and came to terms with the sobering news.
In March of this year, Latta said the cancer treatments were working and he was responding well to chemotherapy.
He did not specify the drugs he was prescribed.
At the time, he said his stomach tumour had disappeared thanks to chemotherapy and he was able to stay on the cancer drugs indefinitely.
On the day of his death, Latta released his latest book Lessons on Living.
HarperCollins Publishers said Latta’s book was a beautiful gift to leave behind.
“Thank you, Nigel, for your marvellous insight into a life well-lived and shared with joy.”
The book is described as Latta’s three principles he had learned after three decades working as a clinical psychologist.
“What do you do when you’re told you only have months to live?” the back reads. “If you’re Nigel Latta, first, you’re going to eat a lot of ice cream.”
The final words in his book ended on a poignant note.
“After working this toolkit all my life, and staying on the road all these long years, and getting up after all the falls, and pushing through pain, and stress and suffering, and all the triumphs, and all the disasters, and all the joys, and all the sorrows, and raising a family, and all that brings with it, and finding love, and most of all having now lived through months and months of staring down the clucking face of death itself, I finally arrived at the last enduring truth. I learned what I always knew but never truly understood. There is only one metric that really matters when we measure ourselves against the way we’ve chosen to live our lives: In the end ... there is only love.”
Gut Cancer Foundation executive officer Liam Willis was struck by how, as soon as Latta was diagnosed last year, he immediately swung into being an advocate.
“He reached out directly after ... his resilience online and when he would speak, it really inspired people.”
Willis said Latta was honest and open when he spoke at events, letting people into his personal journey to help them.
“It was all just so indicative of the person he was, all he ever wanted to do was help others.”
Shaun O’Neill paid tribute to his friend Latta on social media, commenting on his relationship with his wife.
“It was an honour. Love you brother.
“In all my days I have never seen two people more in love than Nigel Latta and Natalie Flynn.”
Dougal Sutherland, the principal psychologist at Umbrella Wellbeing, said he was “very sad” to hear of the passing of Latta.
“He did an amazing job of bringing clinical psychology into the public arena and making it okay for people to talk about parenting and mental health. He was an inspiration and role model for me. Our world will be poorer without him in it.”
Fans have taken to social media to pay respects to the late psychologist.
Penny Neilson said his death was a huge loss that would be felt through the education sector deeply.
“So much knowledge and his work to upskill educators to support children through the Christchurch earthquakes made a lasting impact.”
Penny Coleman remembered Latta as an “incredible human”.
“Sending so much love and support to whanau for the loss of this incredible human. I am a single mum and Nigel’s advice through his books and shows were an absolute blessing, his outlook on life was always positive and his jokes about the apocalypse kept me sane! A wonderful legacy to treasure.”
Abi Charters paid tribute to Latta’s tenacity, saying he was “an incredible speaker and inspiration for us all”.
“Even when he was sick from chemo, he showed up and spoke at a charity dinner I was at. He spoke about perspective and his journey with cancer changed things for him. Encouraging others to not wait for a life changing event like this.”
Former patients are also among those paying respects to Latta.
Melanie Sierra posted she was “saddened” to read of his death. “Nigel was my counsellor when I was teen. He was amazing help through some tough years. So grateful to have crossed paths.”
Latta was born in Ōamaru and attended Waitaki Boys’ High School.
He went on to study zoology and marine science at Otago University, before moving on to Auckland University where he completed a Master of Philosophy with First Class Honours in Psychology, and a postgraduate diploma in Clinical Psychology.
After around a decade as a psychologist, he released his first book Darklands: Unveiling the Predators Among Us in 2003, looking into the background of violent offenders. He released the TV show Beyond the Darklands in 2008, which followed a similar theme.
Latta went on to make TV shows with a lighter subject matter in 2009 with the hit show The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show.
Politically incorrect guides for teenagers and grown-ups were made after the show’s success and earned Latta many nominations for best presenter, and best information programme.
TVNZ called Latta a “trusted voice on our screens for two decades”.
“He dedicated his life to helping others through their toughest challenges and we hear from our viewers regularly about the impact Nigel’s programmes have had on them.
“Nigel’s life was spent giving, guiding, and caring - he will be profoundly missed and our thoughts are with his loved ones.”
NZ On Air called Latta a truly remarkable New Zealander whose fearless storytelling and deep compassion was one of a kind.
“Nigel had a gift for tackling the tough stuff – parenting, mental health, crime, poverty – and making it real, relatable and human.
“His work helped Aotearoa navigate life’s complexities with empathy and courage – qualities which truly sum him up.
“He was pretty special. And he’ll be deeply missed.”