'A lifetime of trauma and hurt'
Warning: This article discusses sexual violence
A man with mana is one who lives with purpose and zero intention to cause others pain. One who only displays kindness, and an understanding in regards to women and the word "no".
Society warns you of old men or getting drugged at clubs, not a predator that hides among your peers.
I write in representation of these women who have suffered unbearable pain at such a youthful age.
Life doesn't prepare you for the horrors others' actions can inflict. Nor does it prepare you for the mental strain 16 months through the courts can cause.
This boy's actions have caused a lifetime of trauma and hurt. It requires strength and bravery to stand up against one who once made you feel so small and vulnerable.
From the point of view of one who shares a love and empathy for the victims involved, it has been an indescribable agony to witness their raw pain and emotional suffering.
Not only did Jayden Meyer's actions cause us girls to hurt, but our family and friends have also been pulled through this journey, adversely affecting our relationships, and causing much disharmony.
Uncountable hours were spent trying to pick up the pieces of the shattered worlds we had to live in. But with the support systems surrounding us, we were able to put ourselves together piece by piece and not be victimised by this cowardly act.
Sexual offending can lead to mistrust, insecurity and can cause numerous mental health issues. Many suicides have been the outcome of those suppressed feelings and lack of support systems.
Seeking professional help places an enormous financial burden on both the family and the individual.
One must remember that us girls are also in our prime years of education and this event has had a major impact on both the ability to attend and participate in school activities.
Many have expressed that nine months isn't a suitable punishment against the 10 charges he's been convicted of.
Considering, in our view, the lack of acknowledgment shown by both the offender and his family, justice doesn't feel as though it has been served in this case. This is a serious matter that many have overlooked throughout stages in their lives.
I feel that we as a society need to recognise this type of predatory offending and make a more affirmative stance along with our judicial system.
The bravery of everyone affected by this case is undeniable. Many tears have been shared throughout this process and there were no easy moments. This has been a challenge like no other and has taught us all a very valuable lesson.
But to stand on the survival end and moving forward positively with our lives is an accomplishment in itself.
As a result of the news currently breaking the media, take it as a sign to acknowledge those you love and always ensure they are feeling safe.
So many have suffered from sexual offending, but not all have the security to reach out.
Please always know you are not alone. Every individual contains the strength to obtain the justice they deserve.
SEXUAL HARM
Where to get help:
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email support@safetotalk.nz
• For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• What's Up: 0800 942 8787 (11am to11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• Helpline: 1737
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
