COMMENT

Be warned. You may notice my American accent during a chatty, multi-beverage evening. But if you happen to spout something along the lines of, "America got what it deserved in Donald Trump", I will bite off your favourite appendage. Maybe two. I will reduce bits into human-avocado toast quicker than you can say, "Deutsche Bank, save me!"

Health alert: Don't mess with me right now. As a Kiwi-American, I am not a pretty sight these days. Yes, the Kiwi side of me preens every time an international notable goes all gooey-eyed jealous over Jacinda like I personally invented sane

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