When Chantal Kerlin lost her baby girl in a tragic drowning incident it broke her.
To cope with depression, anxiety and the brutal post-traumatic stress of losing her 2-and-half-year-old daughter Saylor Rose Kerlin, the grieving mother was given six forms of "heavy medication".
She was numb to the bone and struggling to find a way out. Then eight weeks after the tragedy she discovered she was five weeks pregnant and her world slowly began to shift.
"At first I thought how could I grieve a child and love another. I had all this guilt that was just eating me up. You think, you're a mum, you should be able to protect a child."
But then something inside of her switched.
"I knew I had to get off the drugs and learn how to heal without them. I started meditating and weaned my way off them over two weeks.
"Once I tapped into meditation I became addicted. I learnt how to control my thoughts and my mind and because that's all it is."
She said coming off all the drugs was near unbearable.
"You have all this pain and I couldn't sleep for four days. You have flashes of everything, I was constantly thinking about giving Saylor CPR."
Saylor was found unconscious in a friend's pool in October last year. She died four days later surrounded by friends and family in Starship's intensive care.
Looking back Kerlin said falling pregnant was what helped her get off drugs.
"Without the support of my loving husband, my children and my amazing energy healer Jenni Abbelnoor, I don't think I couldn't have got to where I am now."
Kerlin said she had seen so many people go down that dark road through medication and substance abuse until they are numb, rather than bring up the raw emotion and face it and let it go.
"It is very Western to pop pills if you have mental health issues."
The advice Kerlin wanted to give other grieving parents was to be true to yourself, listen to your inner voice and be conscious of your surroundings.
"There is more to this world than death and when you can find that connection with passed loved one and learn how to connect with them that's when you find that true peace."
Kerlin said she remembered her "ray of light" and the strength she carried.
"She was such a strong little human ... she was so capable, constantly climbing and jumping and way above her age. So confident, I always felt as a mother she didn't need me much, she was potty trained, she would dress herself.
"It was almost as if she knew she wasn't going to be around a long time because she lived every day to the fullest."
Kerlin said it was Saylor's strength that allowed her to carry on and voice her opinion.
"We miss her energy and all her beauty."