Donor-conceived children have a legal right to receive identifying information about their donor when they turn 18. Photo / 123rf
Donor-conceived children have a legal right to receive identifying information about their donor when they turn 18. Photo / 123rf
For parents of donor-conceived children, it’s the trickiest question: when do you tell them?
As officials prepare for the first information requests from young people about their donor biological parents, a team of University of Auckland researchers are asking their own questions in a new nationwide survey.
An estimated 50to 70 Kiwis turning 18 from August are about to become the first cohort legally allowed to seek details about their donor parent from Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Since the Human Assisted Reproductive Technologies (Hart) register began collecting information nearly two decades ago, more than 3000 donor-conceived people have been born.
“There are only really two ways to find out that you are donor-conceived,” said Cindy Farquhara professor of medical obstetrics and gynaecology, who serves as clinical director at Fertility Plus.
“One is your parents tell you - and the second is to do genetic testing.”
When clinics helped people become pregnant using donor gametes - sperm, or donor eggs or embryos – they routinely offered counselling services, which included advice around children’s legal rights to information.
Professor Cindy Farquhar is leading a new nationwide survey of parents of donor-conceived children.
“The advice is always to tell the children, from an early age, that they have a biological parent through donor conception,” Farquhar said.
Yet it wasn’t clear just how many parents had done so – clinics typically lose touch with them after the first year of birth – so Farquhar and her colleagues have begun a survey to shed more light on the picture.
“It’s a highly sensitive topic and doing it by survey, which is anonymous, seemed like the best way forward.”
For clinics, she said the insights could tell them how useful their own counselling services had been.
“We assist people in achieving their dream. But how did the disclosure work out?” she said.
“On another level, I wanted to know across the country if the Hart act has achieved one of its objectives about transparency - and that we won’t have the problems that adoption left for many people.”
A spokesperson for the advocacy group Donor-Conceived Aotearoa said that, even in an era of increased openness, many parents never found the “right time” to have the conversation.
Not doing so, they said, wasn’t just an issue of “human dignity”, but could also keep from them vital information about their health and family.
“This research is critical to determine what levels of additional support are required for parents to disclose donor-conception to their children.”
A Births, Deaths and Marriages spokesperson said the survey findings would also be of interest to the agency.
“Understanding the context of the people who access our services is always helpful to us when carrying out our legislative responsibilities.”
