Music star's son helps Leo see the light

Larissa Brown and her son Ryder. Photo / NZWW

Glamour girl Larissa "Leo" Brown, who went through a highly public split with R&B singer Joshua "J" Williams last year, is writing a book about sexual and domestic abuse.

The 26-year-old stylist split with Williams shortly before giving birth to their son, Ryder, amid allegations he assaulted her during their relationship.

Williams, 25, admitted a series of violent, alcohol-fuelled attacks on his ex-partner and was dropped from his role as a Rugby World Cup ambassador before going into alcohol and anger management counselling.

Brown says she is recovering from the experience, has a new relationship, and feels compelled to move on for the sake of her son, who is now almost 1.

"[Williams] has made it clear he needs to concentrate on his career. He has said he will be a part of Ryder's life when he is older. That shows to me that there are still life lessons for Joshua to learn. Sadly he misses out on my meaning to life, my son."

It took an emotional meltdown to reach the point where she was able to confront what had happened, she said.

"I realised emotionally I had hit rock bottom, it was so sore beyond pain, a numbness ... I remember feeling the eyes of motorists around me in the jam-packed peak hour traffic on the Southern Motorway. What a time to have an emotional breakdown, yelling at the air, snot, tears and all," said Brown.

"Then I envisioned my son, I saw his smile and said to myself 'my little boy needs me'. I pretty much made the decision right then, I'm not going to hurt any more."

Brown's police complaint against Williams led to an out-of-court settlement. Brown was subjected to cyber bullying from people who did not believe her story.

"It was very hard being called a liar. It was also very hard to see how many people were upset with me talking out about the truth. But then there was light, I literally had hundreds of people reach out to me via email and Facebook," she said

Brown has since started a new relationship. "I met a man who actually deals with cases regarding victims who have been abused. He is such a wonderful man who has opened his heart to my son and me."

She hopes the book will provide inspiration to other women who find themselves in similar situations. "It shares my experiences with sexual abuse [a relative was jailed for abuse four years ago], my break-up, self-discovery, self-worth and my pursuit of ultimate happiness. I'm not there yet, so this book is being documented as I go."